Its been a difficult last few days...I miss Chastin. I haven't heard a thing from him since his last post here. He won't answer calls, texts, or emails and there aren't even any like recent draft posts by him on our blogger account.
Slendy revealed enough during our last conversation to convince me that Chastin is in a lot of danger right now. But, I'm going to assume that Chas is still alive since Slendderp keeps showing his nonexistent face around my apartment since he told me he was going to use me to get Chastin. Slendy hasn't made any move to kill me or anything, which I assume he's going to do once he has what he wants from Chas.
So, I'm at least reassured that Chastin is still alive. He's probably in shock from discovering the truth about Kyle's death...gosh I wish I could be there for him. He needs me. But...I'm kind of afraid to go. I'm afraid that, if I get close to Chas, Slendderp will make good on his promise to turn me into a proxy and then I'll be forced to hurt the man I love.
God, I'm so stressed out. I hardly sleep during the night. I can tell that slendy's stepping up his efforts to break me. He's been in my apartment every day since we talked and that sensation of feeling like something's trying to sweep me away is getting worse.
Honestly, it was horrifying when I first saw him appear in the corner of the living room next to the TV on Thursday. But, he didn't really do anything. He just stood there and "stared" at me. His gaze burns me to my very core... He's taken to standing in whatever room I'm in for an hour or so before disappearing and then coming back the next day. It scared the living shit out of me at first, but after awhile it was just annoying. He's watching me type this in my room right now. Again, its really annoying. I look up to glare at him every few minutes and all he does is tilt his head.
I tried asking him what he wants, but, for the first few days, he wouldn't reply. I asked him a few minutes ago and all he said was this:
"Iamwaiting".
Ugh...this is extremely tiresome. I'm pretty sure he watches me for a little while each night. I wake up every few hours due to my paranoia and sometimes I see his shadowy form in the corner across from whatever side of the bed I happen to be sleeping on. My heart starts pounding and I sweat like crazy. I can't get myself to move until he finally disappears. Its really only when I see him at night that I get super freaked out...I used to spazz out when I saw him around my apartment during the day, too, but now I've kind of started to see him as another piece of furniture. At night, however, he always has the tentacles out and his head cocked at the freaky 90 degree angle. I think he knows I've always been afraid of the dark...
On a more humorous note, this morning when I was in the shower he actually had the gall to appear in the bathroom with me. I'm sure you can all imagine what happened next.
I'm standing in the hot water, trying not to think about my life, and suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a shadowy shape appear on the other side of my shower curtain. I see his pasty, white chin and part of his suit over the top of the curtain and I freak out. Keep in mind, this is the first time the entire week he's been hanging around here that I've actually had a frightened fit because of him. Prior to that I'd been attempting to appear calm and not acknowledge his presence. Well, I started throwing soap at him and shouting at him to GTFO my shower time.
He seemed extremely confused...I actually felt a little bad for him. He clearly had no idea what I was doing in the shower...I think he just noticed that my mind was vulnerable since I totally space out in the shower and decided to take advantage of that. I don't know. It was still hilarious.
He's back to his usual watching now. I think he's angrier than he has been before. Maybe that's because I threw soap at him...but I think its because he still isn't able to break me. He's getting frustrated and I think he's going to step up his game soon...
Please come back, Chastin...
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