Monday, May 30, 2011

A Troubling Week

Its been a difficult last few days...I miss Chastin. I haven't heard a thing from him since his last post here. He won't answer calls, texts, or emails and there aren't even any like recent draft posts by him on our blogger account.

Slendy revealed enough during our last conversation to convince me that Chastin is in a lot of danger right now. But, I'm going to assume that Chas is still alive since Slendderp keeps showing his nonexistent face around my apartment since he told me he was going to use me to get Chastin. Slendy hasn't made any move to kill me or anything, which I assume he's going to do once he has what he wants from Chas.

So, I'm at least reassured that Chastin is still alive. He's probably in shock from discovering the truth about Kyle's death...gosh I wish I could be there for him. He needs me. But...I'm kind of afraid to go. I'm afraid that, if I get close to Chas, Slendderp will make good on his promise to turn me into a proxy and then I'll be forced to hurt the man I love.

God, I'm so stressed out. I hardly sleep during the night. I can tell that slendy's stepping up his efforts to break me. He's been in my apartment every day since we talked and that sensation of feeling like something's trying to sweep me away is getting worse.

Honestly, it was horrifying when I first saw him appear in the corner of the living room next to the TV on Thursday. But, he didn't really do anything. He just stood there and "stared" at me. His gaze burns me to my very core... He's taken to standing in whatever room I'm in for an hour or so before disappearing and then coming back the next day. It scared the living shit out of me at first, but after awhile it was just annoying. He's watching me type this in my room right now. Again, its really annoying. I look up to glare at him every few minutes and all he does is tilt his head.

I tried asking him what he wants, but, for the first few days, he wouldn't reply. I asked him a few minutes ago and all he said was this:

Ugh...this is extremely tiresome. I'm pretty sure he watches me for a little while each night. I wake up every few hours due to my paranoia and sometimes I see his shadowy form in the corner across from whatever side of the bed I happen to be sleeping on. My heart starts pounding and I sweat like crazy. I can't get myself to move until he finally disappears. Its really only when I see him at night that I get super freaked out...I used to spazz out when I saw him around my apartment during the day, too, but now I've kind of started to see him as  another piece of furniture. At night, however, he always has the tentacles out and his head cocked at the freaky 90 degree angle. I think he knows I've always been afraid of the dark...

On a more humorous note, this morning when I was in the shower he actually had the gall to appear in the bathroom with me. I'm sure you can all imagine what happened next.

I'm standing in the hot water, trying not to think about my life, and suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I see a shadowy shape appear on the other side of my shower curtain. I see his pasty, white chin and part of his suit over the top of the curtain and I freak out. Keep in mind, this is the first time the entire week he's been hanging around here that I've actually had a frightened fit because of him. Prior to that I'd been attempting to appear calm and not acknowledge his presence. Well, I started throwing soap at him and shouting at him to GTFO my shower time.

 He seemed extremely confused...I actually felt a little bad for him. He clearly had no idea what I was doing in the shower...I think he just noticed that my mind was vulnerable since I totally space out in the shower and decided to take advantage of that. I don't know. It was still hilarious.

He's back to his usual watching now. I think he's angrier than he has been before. Maybe that's because I threw soap at him...but I think its because he still isn't able to break me. He's getting frustrated and I think he's going to step up his game soon...

Please come back, Chastin...

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I knew it

I fucking knew something like this would happen once you left. You idiot...please be know that that whole Kyle hallucination was just slendy fucking with you right? You say you killed Kyle...well....I do believe you when you say that. I also know it wasn't your fault. It can't have would never willingly kill your own brother.
The fact that you have that huge memory gap and a new wound is extremely disturbing...I think...well...I guess its  too early to say what I'm thinking for certain.
Look...I know Kyle's death wasn't really Chastin's fault because I asked a certain someone who would know all these things. Mhmm, I actually got some answers out of the Tall One himself. It wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. It was...frightening to say the least, but I'm alive aren't I?

Here's how it went:
The morning after Chastin announced he was leaving I pretty much stayed in bed and ignored him as he was getting his stuff and getting ready to go to his new loft place. He said goodbye and all I did was glare at him...I feel really guilty about that now knowing he almost died last night. Anyway, after I finally heard the door to the apartment shut I got up and went to make tea for my fragile nerves. I'd barely slept that night because of the strange fear I've been having recently of letting my guard down. I constantly feel this force tugging on my mind and coaxing me to let go...
I sat down on the couch and then slendderp just kind of appeared on the balcony outside the window. He stared at me as I sat drinking tea and all I did was look up once, raise my eyebrow, and look back at the TV.

Yeah...I hope it doesn't seem like I have balls of steel or anything. I don't. I'm not like Zeke Strahm...I'm a total wuss. It isn't that I'm not scared of slendy, its that, at that moment, just like the night at the bar, I was so depressed and worn out that I didn't even want to put up with his shit.

Then I remembered that I had wanted to talk to him before my relationship got screwed over. At that time, I wanted to scream at slendy and beat him to death since its his fault Chastin left. But, I knew it was important we get answers, so I mastered myself and gestured for him to come inside.

He seemed...confused. He did the crazy head tilt and let off this aura of some sort of perplexed curiosity.

Me: "Well, are you coming in or not?"

The next thing I know, slendy's inside next to the TV. He's still confused and I'm still frustrated and angry.

Me: "I want to talk."

Slendy just kind of stands there and stares. I'm still shocked he wasn't angry or anything...

Me: "What the hell is your deal? What did we do to attract your attention? Will you tell me?"

Slendy, to my great surprise, nods. I scramble to grab something for him to write on since I didn't want anymore painful head trauma from his screwy telepathy crap but, when I hold a pen and notepad out to him, he shakes his head and the horrible pain comes back. Like before, I'm able to use my willpower to make it go away. However, this strange pressure remains on my head. It felt like someone was squeezing my skull. It wasn't painful, just annoying.

Slender Man: "Thosewillnotbenecessary."

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he doesn't need to talk like that...I think he was just messing with me.

Me: Um...can you not talk with your words all jumbled up and stuff? Its painful.

Slendy: "Clearyourmind."

 I'm extremely wary of doing this since I've lately been feeling like some strange darkness has been invading my head trying to sweep me away, but, after a few moments, I relax and the pressure lifts.

Slendy: "Now we can speak."

Me: "What was that all about? Why does it hurt when you try to talk to me?"

S: "We could not speak because you refuse to let me in. Even now I have very limited access to you. You have a very strong mind, child. It has given even me quite a bit of trouble."

Me: "Wait, what?"

S: "I have tried to enter your thoughts, but your willpower is far too strong. I cannot find a foothold in your mind. I cannot break you as I have broken the others. Why is this? I am curious."

Me: "I don't believe you're entirely evil, maybe its got something to do with that?"

S: "Perhaps. No matter, you will be mine in due time, be assured."

Me: "Seriously? You want me as a proxy? What the hell could I possibly do that could be of use to you?"

S: "You are dear to him. If I break you he will fall all too easily. His mind will not be able to handle the sight of his poor Malkin at the mercy of his worst nightmare."

Me: "No! What do you want with Chastin?! He'd never even heard of you before I told him, and that wasn't until after you started following us! I'm the one that's been all into the mythos surrounding you..."

S: "Foolish child, you know nothing. He is mine. He slipped away from me but he is MINE."

He got extremely angry at that point. The tentacles came out and I fell to the ground clutching my head at the strength of his outburst.

Me: "St-stop! It hurts!"

S: "Just wait, little one. You will be the instrument of his destruction. I will shatter your mind and leave you groveling at my feet like a dog."

After he said that, the tentacles disappeared again and he comes closer to me.

Me: "You're kind of awkward looking. Just saying."

Slendy: "Then perceive me as something different, child. It is as you believe. I am the product of humanity and its perplexing need to be frightened. I am here to frighten and to take, just as you asked of me. You say you believe I am not evil, yet I can see that you do not feel this with conviction. You can change your fortune, child. Until then, however, donotexpectmercyfromme.

I'm guessing my guard started to go back up instinctively at that point since his speech began to become jumbled and the pressure came back
Um...he actually patted me on the head before disappearing. It wasn't really comforting and nice like I imagine it is when he pats Aiden or Allen on the head. It was creepy...
Yeah...note to self, don't piss off the Slender Man. Its not a good idea and it leaves you with a headache that lasts for five hours.

Aiden, I really wish I could see the nice side of him like you...angry slendy is REALLY scary.

So yeah, that was my conversation. At least I know for certain now that he wants Chastin. God dammit, Chas, please come home. I don't know how much longer I can keep him at bay and I'd really rather not go all proxy on you...

On an unrelated note, I really hope you're okay Taben....please don't be hurt.

Also unrelated, I'm really happy that M's alive. I can see already that some serious shit is gona happen to the guy that saved him though...

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Losing Memory.

I got settled into my uncle's loft, it's quite cozy having everything in one room.

But the reason I'm losing memory, well is something I want to figure out.
The last thing I remember last night was leaving the apartment. I needed some air, and it was massively awkward being in the same place as Malkin. I got on my bike and started riding into town. I remember the neon lights, the dark street corners, and the small amount of people crowding the streets with night life.
I weaved my way through the streets, getting lost in thought. I stopped at a red light. The colors of red reflected off my helmet and puddles in front of me. I looked at my right arm, seeing the bandage at my shoulder, and the bandage at my wrist concealing the Operator symbol. I ripped it off and let the bandages float to the ground. I looked at the tattoo, I felt its black lines with my fingers, and saw the red light change to green from the reflections. I continued the maze.

But that was it. I remember smiling, feeling like a weight heavier than the bandage was lifted.
Then a long gap, between 11 to 4 in the morning.
But I fucking remember everything after the gap of memory.
My eyes shot open to see the dark living room of the loft. My right arm was stretched out in front of me, bleeding like a mad man, from my shoulder though, the blood was going around my tattoo. It took a couple seconds for everything to kick in.
Kyle's gun was facing me on the floor, bloody like my hand. Then my heart kicked in, beating like a train on a track. My eyes widened. My breathing became hard and deep.
"Fuck.. fuck fuck fuck fuck," I said, slowly getting louder with every 'fuck'. I lifted myself from the floor, holding my right arm, sitting on the stained carpet. I looked around, the door was open, cold air was bursting in, rain poured, drowning out everything. My ears pounded with my head and I pulled myself up, stumbling around, trying to find balance.
"Did I fuckin' shoot myself?" I questioned still in shock.
But there were no bullet wounds on my shoulder, the burn from a couple weeks ago had reopened and gotten larger. And the blood wouldn't stop coming out, trickling off my fingers. I clenched my teeth, forcing the pain in.
I looked over to the couch.
I blinked multiple times.
Kyle stayed in my vision. He sat on the couch with the gun in his hand. Messing with the trigger.
He looked at me. Was he real!? I couldn't figure out!
He smiled and opened his mouth to speak "Wanna remake history?" He asked ticking the gun against his white smile. He opened his mouth, putting the gun all the way in.
"KYLE! Don't!" I stepped closer to him, not wanting to get close. Was he even real?
"You did" he simply said.
The gun fire was so loud to me, I nearly screamed. Well I did, but more in a hysterical manner.
To realize the gun wasn't in his mouth anymore...
A bullet hole cut through his skull, blood and flesh splattered on the other side.
No emotion, no eyes, no soul.
I looked down, to my right hand trembling with the gun. Smoke still rose from the barrel, as my blood dripped off the end. How did I get the gun?
The fear, the shock, the chaos that my mind held... I knew it wasn't fucking real. But it was hard to believe. I dropped the gun, and stumbled over to Kyle's body.
I reached for the couch, to nothing but leather.
And a bullet hole, piercing the cushion.
Tears stormed down my face, mimicking the rain.

A couple hours later I got to my senses and fixed my arm. I cleaned up the blood stains today, and was speechless the rest.

It was just like mom said, I killed Kyle.
I'm so lost.

Monday, May 23, 2011

I'm afraid your sorries are irrelevant because, if you were here, I'd punch you in the face

You big really thought dumping me was the right answer to our problems? Its not going to make slendy go away...all its done is divide us and now things are going to get worse. How can you not believe that its the Slender Man when you've SEEN HIM WITH YOUR OWN TWO EYES? You can pretend this isn't real all you want, that doesn't change the fact that we're both in danger. Leaving me won't make him stop following me, you know.

I'm on my laptop right now in my room. I pretty much kicked Chastin out of here and he's now out in the living room sleeping. I feel helpless...and I can feel those burning eyes on me again. There's this...strange sensation eating away at the corners of my mind...I feel like I'm drifting in and out of dreams and that there's a darkness trying to sweep me away if I let myself slip out of lucidity. I can't deal with slendderp without Chastin...its just too much. Wow, I'd enjoy a hug right now.

By the way Chas, you can hardly call the way I've been acting "whiny". More like...worried about you dying and trying to keep both of us alive.

God, I'd really love to beat slendderp over the head with a chair right now.

I'm really sorry.

First, it took forever to get out of the hospital because they thought I was having mental problems because I couldn't sleep at night, and when I did I would have really fucked up dreams... about my past.

But something else happened, and I really wish I didn't have to mention it.
I did break up with Malkin. This Slender thing isn't real, and it was getting a little too much for our relationship, plus Malkin has been on my nerves about too much lately and I can't take some of his whinyness. He needs to grow up and I need space.
I'm not saying I don't love Malkin, I do, I just need a break from him, and I need to sleep.
I'm moving out tomorrow to the loft above my uncle's garage.

It's just a break, it's not permanent.
So sorry for delayed posts...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Sad times so far

Chastin still isn't home from the hospital...they want to make sure he's completely okay before they release him since, you know, he crashed into a freaking tree so hard the car is now wrecked and sad.
Its just me alone at home right now. I haven't seen slendderp since that night at the bar. I'm guessing he has other things to do.
Maybe its wrong to say this, and I really hope Taben doesn't get mad at me for it (I apologize ahead of time for what I'm about to say in case you become offended), but I'm jealous of people like Aiden and Allen who get to see the good side of slendy...
When I was just some random slender fan I always held the opinion that slendy wasn't really evil in the sense that we generally think of when we think of a malicious, horrible monster. I remember him mentioning once on Sandra's blog that he doesn't kill because he likes it, but because its what we, his creators, made him to do. Assuming he is a tulpa, its pretty safe to say that, since we created slendy to be this terrifying monster that drives people crazy and murders them or proxy-fies them, that that's what he'll become. It isn't really his fault that he does what he does. He doesn't really have a choice. In the end its our perception of him that drives him to murder and so we can only call ourselves responsible.
Maybe thats strange of me to suggest...but its what I've been contemplating since I got back. Many of us bloggers hate him for all the pain he's caused, but isn't that what we wanted him to do in the first place? The only thing we didn't foresee is that our creation would become real...
I guess the statement "be careful what you wish for" is completely true isn't it? We made a monster for our own enjoyment (yes, it is enjoyment since we love being scared of things we know aren't real) and now its come to life and we only have ourselves to blame for what he's done as a result of our stupidity.

Anyway...before I knew he was real, I used to think it would be awesome if slendy would be my friend. Of course...I also thought (and still think) it would be cool to be friends with Pyramid Head so maybe I'm just weird...

Maybe I'll try talking to him again...maybe I should see what he has to say? I need to know what he wants with Chastin and maybe, just maybe, I can get him to tell me. Yeah...wish me luck on that one. I'm hoping I'll get lucky and slendy'll be fairly docile when I see him next. He seemed pretty calm when I saw him outside my parents' house that time. Of course, he chased me down a street and knocked me out the very next time we met...

I want to believe that he is capable of good. Chastin will think that's stupid...but from what I've seen with people like Aiden and Sandra, he is capable of something other than murder. Even the most evil human being is capable of good, and I believe the same concept stands with the Slender Man. I guess I'm too trusting and nice...but we'll see. If I can perceive him as something other than an evil abomination then maybe he'll stop trying to hurt us.

Again, wish me luck...

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Home, finally

I'm back, thank goodness. Chas is fine, he just looks a little banged up. He'll be released from the hospital soon. I made sure not to stay a super long time because I didn't want to deal with them yelling at me to get out since I'm not related to or married to Chas. Yeah...its stupid and I know Aiden and Brennon had the same problem. Chas is ok though and he should be able to avoid a mental break down until I come back to see him tomorrow. I can only hope slendy doesn't decide to pay him a visit...surely skinny's not that big of a dick?
So car is extremely sad looking now. Chas hit that "tree" pretty hard (I suppose slendderp can become tree-like when he wants to, right?). I pretty much tried and failed to drive Chas's motorcycle XD I'm not skilled and manly like he is, so its bus time for me until we figure something out for the car. Yeah...we're poor. Thankfully, college is on summer break so I don't really have to go anywhere right now.

Oh...and, true to what I said in my last post, I did go for drinks last night in my anger at not being able to get home asap. Well, funny story, slendy actually showed up in an alley next to the bar I went to. I just kind of ignored him to be honest...I didn't want to deal with him at that point since I was already super frustrated from airport madness and worry for Chas. I went inside the bar and, lo and behold, slendy followed me. Yeah...I'm confused too...he just kind of watched me drink from the corner and didn't appear to care that I wasn't even acknowledging his presence. I left after an hour or so of spacing out and sipping something (I can't even recall what it was, honestly) and he followed me out. My parents' house isn't that far from the airport, so I decided to walk home. Look, I know it was stupid to do that when the freaking Slender Man, scourge of foggy, empty streets, was following me like a puppy, but I really didn't give a shit. I was tired, depressed, and slightly drunk...
Well, you can probably guess this didn't end well...I got a few blocks, turned around to see if he was still behind me and, surprisingly, he wasn't there. I turned back around and, of course, he's standing not three feet in front of me with tentacles out and head cocked at a painful looking angle.

I ran like hell. No heroics for me this time...
The painful throbbing from slendy trying to talk to me pounded on me the entire time but I didn't want to find out what he was saying... I pretty much figured it was something along the lines of "kill" and "maim".
He appeared at the end of the street that I was running down but, before I could turn around I remembered M's advice. You know, keep your eyes on slendy and he can't slenderwalk like a bitch. So, I tried that. I stared right into where his eyes would be and backed away as quickly as I dared. He lumbered down the street after me but didn't disappear.
So, I guess some of what M says does work for me. That's nice to know. Still though...tentacles. One of them extended toward me faster than I could react and tripped me. I fell to the ground in a heap and looked up to find him standing over me. His aura was completely triumphant and gleeful.


I don't remember anything after hurts to try. I woke up outside my parents' house with only a few cuts and bruises. I hope he didn't screw with my head too much...I'd rather not go all proxy and be offed by zerosage. Yeah.... that guy is losing it.

So yeah...that's my adventure. But, I'm home now and I'm just fine. I haven't seen the tall bastard since and I can only hope he goes away at least until Chas gets better....

I hate the airport

Being retarded I actually had the AUDACITY to think that maybe I could get a flight home tonight but NO. I am mad now.
I need to get home as soon as possible even if it means flying into the late hours of the morning...I need to be there for Chastin. I can't believe he got himself in the fucking hospital...the next time I see slendershit I'm gonna do a hell of a lot more than just try and fail to hit him with a rake and then yell at him a little bit. (Yeah I've given up doing the whole Him thing every time I'm referring to slendy, its too much work.)
Secondly, I believe everyone needs to know exactly how I feel about that operator symbol tattoo...
Yeah I should punch Chas in the balls for doing that. In fact I might just do that when he's not all drugged up and hospital-y. Look...maybe that seems like its going a little far but I feel rather strongly about this subject. I honestly don't believe the operator symbol actually helps ward slendy off. I mean, Chas just had his accident because of slendy even though he had the operator symbol on his wrist.

Yeah, its not really doing much in the way of warding him off. I've come to interpret the symbol as more of a challenge now. Like...when you put operator symbols up or even just one or two on clothing I think slendy sees that as a sort of mocking challenge. Its as if you're saying to him "yeah that's right, I have an operator symbol, lets see you get me now bitch". Well as you can no doubt imagine that just pisses him off more. It would piss me off if I were a tall, humanoid eldritch abomination so yeah...gonna assume I'm right about this one.

Sigh...Chas is so bad at not being horribly maimed isn't he? First the shoulder burn thing and now this...I'm never leaving him alone again. I should've just taken him with me to see my parents but nooooooo, Chas didn't want our cats to be lonely for a few days. Srsly...we would just leave them at the local vet clinic but he thought Steve and Bear would be sad. (Bear would've actually had a bitch fit but thats not the point...)

So yeah...I'm at the airport attempting to get a flight home. Its not working. God I wish slendy would show his ugly face here and now so I can wildly attempt to punch something. Mmmmeeeeeeeh....maybe I'll go get a few drinks or something....

I miss you, Chas...

Monday, May 16, 2011

This is where Malkin needs to come home...

I don't care that you kept it from me, and you know that, since I told you last night.
But I can stand for myself, Slender Man has nothing against me. I mean He has some beef with me, and I have yet to figure out why yet. But He can't get to me, I wont let him, and I can't let him get to Malkin...

But I did do something that Malkin freaked out about. I got a tattoo of the operator symbol. Remember the O's with X's crossed through them in Kyle's notes? Yeah I thought it meant something to him, and I decided I needed something to remind me of him, keep him in my thoughts. So I got that symbol under my wrist in black. I thought it looked rather cool but according to Malkin it was the dumbest idea I've had so far...
According to Malkin it's a symbol that can either send Mr. Slendy off for a little, make him completely ignore it, or antagonize him further... So I've kept it in it's bandages to keep it sealed. I look at it every now and then. It still holds Kyle's memory to me. I don't know if that's a good thing though...

To continue with Malkin's last post, it didn't bother me as much as he thought it might. I knew Slender Man was something awful, all Malkin did was put a name on it.
I watched some of the videos that Malkin sited. I can tell their Slender Man is fake. I mean the real Slendy hold way more fear, you can see it in him. It like come off of him like an invisible fire, it's hard to explain. But you just can't seem to see it on everymanHYBRID, or MarbleHornets. Just not real.
And Slender Man isn't something to joke about. Especially when he's such a creature that you can't even begin to explain it's actions, hows, or why's.
All I can tell from those Operator symbols on Kyle's notebooks is that Kyle was connected to or was stalked by Slender Man. And now he's on to me. Which makes me wonder why.

My first encounter with Slender Man was about three years ago. I barely remember that damn suit, everywhere. My life was moving so fast then, just meeting Malkin, falling in love, moving in together. I must have totally ignored him at some point..

But today... today made it seem all too real.

I was coming home from work. I was driving Malkin's car since he took a taxi to the airport and all the weather wanted to do was rain. It was miserable, I was tired of it too.
The mustang roared to life when I pushed in the clutch and started the car. I pulled out of the drive way of Bob's auto wrecking yard, and continued to my normal route home.
But of course my main way home was blocked off due to road construction. Really? Just what I needed after a wonderful day at work with angry customers...
I took a U-turn and headed for the back way. I turned up the music in the car to drown out the heavy rain and wind, knocking at the car. I breathed in the warm air from the vents and continued on in fourth. Down the back roads, it was surprisingly calming. The bass vibrating my back and mind. The trees around me fought back with the wind as I took the tight corners, sliding as I drifted with them in ease.

Then it all just got dark

All I remember was Slender Man's face staring at me. Almost breathing on me it seemed like. (Malkin says "wtf how can he breathe he has no mouth")
Then I remember slowly waking up to sirens, the flashing red and blue lights against the black night sky. The rain still coming down at I felt tears rolling down my eyes, reasons I couldn't figure out why.

Where was Malkin? Where was I? What was going on!

I woke later in the hospital. According to my nurse I "passed out at the wheel and veered off into the trees, totaling the car." She said I was lucky to have lived with the minor injuries I had, specially in an old car with no air bags.
I bit my lip, hard. I fucked up Malkin's prize car... The one we restored together...

Now I'm in the hospital, waiting to recover. And for Malkin to get back from his parent's. He said he'd be on the first flight home, but I don't know how much of me wants to face him.

Me knowing that I didn't fall asleep at the wheel. Something was missing and I can't seem to get my thoughts correct onto what.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Part Where Malkin Tells the Truth

Yeah, this is that part.

Its time I stopped pretending I don't know what's happening...all of our followers know that I know what's going on since, you know, I've kind of been following their blogs for months. I've been pretending I don't know who our lovely stalker is out of a fear that revealing things might make this worse...
So yeah...obviously I know that tall, dark, and faceless is the Slender Man. That may seem like kind of a stupid reveal to the other bloggers who follow us...but its going to be a surprise to Chastin. I've known ever since I first saw Him lurking outside my window...I've been an avid follower of the Slender Man mythos since like...December? November? I can't remember. The point is that I knew about Slendy and didn't say anything even when He showed up in our lives. I'm so sorry...

When I first started out I thought this was all fun and cool and whatnot. People like being scared. Its why we watch horror movies. Its also why I enjoyed watching Marble Hornets, EverymanHYBRID, and reading all the blogs. I was a total nerd for slendy. I know all of the theories about His existence, I was all into what was going on with the other was awesome for awhile. I convinced myself slendy didn't exist, that its all fun and games. Looking back, I feel like a dumbass. But...there was some part of me that still possessed this horrible fear of Him. Its why I didn't introduce this all to Chastin when I first got into it...some part of me was afraid that, if I did, He would come for both of us. However, I'm by no means suggesting that His sudden appearance in our lives is my fault. When I saw slendy outside my window that night, my first thought was obviously, "Oh gods, it finally happened. My stupid obsession with this mythos is finally going to get us killed." But then I felt from Him that He wasn't there for me. You will recall, I'm sure, that I mentioned in my first post that I could feel His intent radiating off of Him. Well, as I said, I could feel that slendy wanted Chastin. I was utterly shocked and confused when I discovered this... How could slendy want Chastin when I'm the one that's been meddling in the mythos? Chastin's last post confirmed for me that its time for me to reveal all of this. I am absolutely certain now that this isn't because of me. Something deeper is going on and I realized it the moment Chas mentioned seeing "random circles with x's through them" in Kyle's old things. I should have told Chas everything I know about Slender Man the moment He came into our lives. I'm sorry I didn't say anything...but now I can and maybe it will save our asses. Hopefully telling you won't make it worse...

I am reassured now that, in most cases, slendy won't come for someone just because they know the mythos. That would mean that every one of the few thousand people that know about Him would be stalked and eventually die. Even slendy can't be in that many places at once. No...He has to see you as some kind of a threat or as especially interesting, I think. Slendy wants Chastin because of something that happened with Kyle...I know it. I have to find some way to protect him now or we're both toast.

The Slender Man is now a part of my reality...its such a strange thought...I went all that time carelessly thinking He didn't exist only to be proved wrong in the most terrible of ways. The only comfort I can find is that this isn't my fault... The only regret I have is that I didn't say something sooner... Please forgive me, Chas...I promise I'll find a way to fix this.

So yeah, Chas, when you read this come talk to me immediately...we need to talk about those "math equations" you saw in Kyle's notebooks...

By the way avid readers, Chas has no idea the monster stalking us is Slender Man, so don't be surprised if I'm dead tomorrow from his rage at me not telling him that I know everything about this creature....

Saturday, May 14, 2011

The Box

I had it next to the front door for three days.
I didn't want to open it. I was scared to. I wasn't ready to go back into my brother's life. To bring him back into mine...
I worked hard keeping him out of my life, especially after he died. I really just didn't need that burden of depression.
I got over him quickly, and now I'm facing the consequences.
I was up late last night, Malkin still down at his parents, so I was still alone.
I remember laying my cigarette in the ash tray and looking down at the box. The TV was flashing different colors of commercials, while my mind exhaustedly wondered what was hidden in that box.
Getting off the couch, I took a step toward it. I shook my head and sat back down thinking waiting for Malkin to come home was a better idea.

But then I thought maybe I didn't want him to know what was in that box, what if it showed something I didn't want Malkin to know about me or my brother...
This thought got me off the couch and the box on my lap.
I opened the flaps and looked inside. First thing was his cap from graduation, a blue hat with a rainbow tassel for being an honor student all four years. Made me wonder where his mind had gone from having all that knowledge. It didn't have anything to do with my search so I set it next to me.
Note books and random files laid on top of each other showed next. I took one of the note books and opened it, finding scribbles of math equations and random circles with X's through them in various colors of ink. I guessed the circles were part of the math equations so I ignored them. The rest of the book continued the same, more math equations. But the weird thing was none of the problems were ever finished. I would have tried to finish them if I was actually good at math...
I pulled out the rest of the notebooks and folders and sat them next to me. I didn't want to read them yet, too tired.
Under it all was a gun...
I stared at it for a long time. Kyle shot himself. But with a different gun than the one I was looking at.
It scared me, but for the weirdest reason all I wanted to do was touch it, feel it. Feel what it would have felt like to have it placed against my head.
How death could be so easy, and so close with just a pull of a trigger...
What Kyle felt, his emotions, his cold sweat, his escape.

I snapped out of it and threw the box at the door. Somethings flew out, along with the gun, perfectly pointing at me.
I closed my eyes. My throat tensed as I clenched my fists.
I realized for a little bit that I lost all my family. The family that I had, that wasn't even real, I didn't have it anymore.
I breathed in deeply. I'm not a man to cry, but when I do, I have my reasons.
I didn't cry last night. Instead I breathed the smoke of my cigarette and burned it out on the ashtray. I lifted myself from the couch and moved to the bed.
I fell on top of it and clenched the sheets. I took in the scent of Malkin and fell asleep without even turning the TV off...

To the sound of fuzz.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Slightly angry but not really

Yeah...I was going to bitch at Chas for ignoring me all of the day before yesterday as I was leaving...and then I found out he went to see his mom. Without me.
I know it sounds weird but his mother freaking loves me...I have no idea why :-/ like of the reasons she stopped talking to Chas is because he's gay...but am I, obviously. Yeah...don't get her logic behind that one. Maybe I'm just awesome. Who knows. Anyway...she seems to be at least...not bitchy...when I go see her with Chas. I'm curious as to why he went alone when he knew she'd just be hurtful and cruel... So yeah, not gonna yell at him for not paying attention. I feel bad for what happened and I wish I could do something to make her stop acting this way...but she's completely convinced Chas is responsible for Kyle's death and nothing I can say will change it. She always was a hardheaded, stubborn woman (so is Chas LOL). Sorry, snuggly bear, couldn't resist that little wisecrack.
My day with my parents was anything but eventful. They like begged me to come, but I was really reluctant to leave Chas alone for fear he'd get eaten by our new skinny friend. Thankfully, he didn't see Him (at least, he didn't as far as I know...). I, on the other hand, did. Seriously, I thought I'd get a break from it while at my mom and dad's place but no...of course not. It wasn't anything horrible. He didn't pick me up again or anything. I just saw Him once standing in the woods across the street from my parents' house. I guess I'm reckless...but I actually started walking towards Him when I saw Him. I was outside enjoying the weather and there He was. I wanted to know what He would do if I just went right for Him without showing any kind of fear. So I walked toward Him. And then I ran like hell at Him with a rake. Yeah. I'm awesome like that.

He seemed...confused. I could feel it from Him. He had no idea why I was running at Him like a crazy person and apparently He didn't want to find out. The bastard disappeared just as I swung the rake at His ugly, bald head. I whirled around, searching, and I saw Him standing at the end of the street staring some more. I kinda lost it then...I yelled "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM US?"
I heard His voice again. It felt like my head was being split open at first, but then I concentrated as hard as I could to overcome it. It took every bit of my willpower but, finally, the pain stopped. I heard two words echo clearly in my mind before He disappeared for good.

"Soon, child."

Fucking cryptic bastard. 
P.S. His voice sounds really stupid. Ha. How do you like that, skinny? Oh, and by the way you tall, faceless creep, you're fat. And adopted. (Props if you got that Portal 2 reference)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Seeing Family.

Malkin went to go see his mother in where ever the hell, I wasn't paying any attention when he told me where he was going. I just kept nodding my head, while I watched the Home Improvement show. Don't judge, nothing else was on.
He packed his way out of the apartment and drove to the airport faster then I could mumble "Love you too" as his car left the parking lot.

The clock hit 12 noon when I finally got kicked out of my trance. I looked around the apartment to realize Malkin did leave.
Oops, I should pay more attention sometimes...
I grabbed my phone off the glass coffee table in front of me and looked at my messages.
Malkin 10:15- "Got to the airport"
Malkin- 10:20 "Hello? I'm waiting for my plane, lay overs or something."
Malkin- 11:30 "Snuggly Bear! Answer your phone, I'm getting on the plane now."
Malkin- 3 missed calls.
Malkin- 11:45 "They're making us turn our phones off now. Did you even notice I left???"

I sighed, looking around the empty apartment. It really needed some more furniture but I could care less as long as I have my TV, couch and bed.
My eyes shifted to a couple pictures on the TV stand. One was a photo of my brother Kyle. It was one of him and his old girlfriend. A picture of my mother and my father sat next to it, collecting dust.
I don't like my parents much. My father and I fought a lot, had an abusive past with him as well . Tell he walked out on the family. My mother has always been the ditsy kind of woman. Who misses everything and doesn't really care. Possibly how she dealt with my father leaving so easily.
Though after he left, non of us heard of him again. We all thought for the better, and that he just didn't want to deal with us. Or that he got drunk and killed off somewhere. We didn't care. Or at least I didn't.

I thought about going and seeing her. I hadn't since my brother died, and she probably has forgotten me...
So I got up, letting the blood rush back down to my legs, and grabbing my keys and phone off the table.

I got on my bike, smiling as the engine roared. I loved that bike, almost as much as Malkin, but don't tell him that.
I left the parking lot and kicked down the highway to mother's....

Her house was a typical old person's home, I guess it's typical at least. The front was pristine, with flours, bushes, perfectly cut grass, paint on the house that seemed to be new, and a big red door drawing you to her layer.
I fixed myself, looking down to my white Vneck, blue and white plaid shorts and my black Pumas.
She never liked the fact that I was gay, but man did she love Malkin. It kind of bothered me cause I never had the connection with her that he's managed to make.
I raised my fist to knock on the door when it opened in front of me. It startled me a little, but her upright figure looked at me.
Her hazel eyes, never losing it's gaze looked into my deeper green-hazel eyes.
Her eyebrows lowered and turned into her living room. This meant "come in."

"Hi" I said, walking in and closing the door behind me. I attempted to take my shoes off, but gave up so I could leave faster when I needed too. "How did you know I was here?" I asked looking around the non-familiar room.
She moved into a smaller bungalow when Kyle moved out of our childhood home. I didn't care, I wanted to burn that house down, always gave me nightmares.

"Where's Malkin?" She asked without saying hello back.
"Uh... Not here." I simply said. Not wanting to admit that I didn't remember where he rushed off to.
"I heard your motor bike. I thought I told you to get serious and by a BMW, or a Chevy or something." She said sitting in her purple chair by the fireplace. I rolled my eyes and sat across from her on the back leather couch. She was smoking her same old cigarette. The old one from the 1920's that was a long stick. I definitely got my smoking addiction from her.
It still smelled like my father's aftershave so I got up and moved to the other chair next to the fireplace.
Her eyes watched outside instead of me, I adjusted my drown leather bracelet on my wrist and swallowed, "Are you not happy to see me?"
"When your brother died, I lost both my sons..." She snapped back, still not looking at me.
"I had nothing to do with Kyle's death, you know that. He commi-" I stopped before I got into more trouble.
She batted an eye at me and looked back at the window.
"What do you need? Money? I thought you had a job." She obviously didn't want my presence. I guess I deserved it since I never came to visit her. But you can understand why...

"No, I'm fine with money thank you, and Bob's Car Mechanic is doing just fine, I get plenty of income." I softly said. I quit looking at her and around the room to the empty walls. The fireplace held a large painting of a forest scenery, close to night. I remember the painting being in her room at the old house.
"So you're getting all your money off of Malkin eh? How the hell did you afford that bike anyways?" She bickered on, I wasn't enjoying myself.
"Mom, I'm not living off of any of Malkin's money! Cut it will you? I need to ask you something about Kyle." I said changing the subject.
"Huh?" He questioned simply. Except I didn't know how to answer 'Huh'.
"Kyle...killed himself because he went crazy right?" I asked reassuring the facts.
"Kyle died because of you, Chastin." I clenched my right fist when she said that.
"Will you please stop blaming me for his death!I hadn't even seen him for maybe six months before he passed!" I raised my voice quite loudly, but keeping myself calm. My fist just kept getting tighter.
"You killed Kyle, Chastin. Stop denying it. If you really want to know how crazy he got before his life came to and end, I have a box of his things in the hall closet. Take it home and please get out of my house." I couldn't see the emotion from her face at all. I got up from the chair and retrieved the box from her closet. It had Kyle's name written on it in cursive. I clenched it near me and went for the door.
I said a simple "Fuck you" and closed the door behind me.
I strapped the box to the back of my bike and road home.

If fire could mimic my emotions, I would be engulfed in flames.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Goddamnit (edited)

You can obviously suspect I went off on Malkin. All on good terms I swear... I just don't want something to happen to Malkin.
We don't even know what He is... What He wants.. Especially with me... I feel like there is something deeper to all of this. But I have yet to figure it all out.
I guess I could investigate but I'm so lazy about this stuff.
Maybe it all has to do with the death of my brother? My brother Kyle passed away around a couple months ago. Well, more like he committed suicide... But the thing is the doctors have no idea why. They say he went crazy or something before he died, according to his brain otopsy they conducted before we cremated him and shoved him into the ground. How depressing that day was. My mother wouldn't let go of me, she kept telling me it was my fault for not keeping better tabs on him. Since I am the oldest and he's my kid brother...
She likes to point fingers at people but herself, she kills me.

Let's just say after I fought with Malkin, I got to sleep on the couch. I was sitting on it, with my sleeping bag spread out and a couple throw pillows on the end. I took a breathe of my cigarette and set it on the ash tray. I blew out the smoke through my nose, making it burn a little. I twisted my nostrils, and took my shirt off to cool myself before getting into the sleeping bag.
I didn't fit on the couch well. My feet hang over the end, and I don't sleep well.
I took my pills off of the coffee table and swallowed them all at once with a gulp of water. I set the glass down and sighed.
I wanted back in bed... I am so controlling of Malkin I swear, but some times I just give into him to avoid further fights. :/

I got into my sleeping bag and grabbed the remote off the floor to try the TV. I clicked the power on, to my surprise it worked. The late night new came to view on the flat screen. I turned the volume off and adjusted myself in the bag. I wrapped it up to my head and frowned. I wasn't happy.
The TV burst to a snow screen of my cable being messed with. The picture went in and out, I ignored it and muted it.

Falling asleep to fuzz.

Whoa there, sir.

I'm not doubting that you saw Him that night, Chas, jeez. Also, I've decided that you're not allowed to go to the store alone anymore. I can't believe he took back roads like that =.=. Seriously I like attacked him when he got back. The whole calm "read a book thing" changed the moment I read his post. I think he thought I wouldn't see it until he was in bed or something. Well, he also forgets I have a smartphone then because I pretty much tackled him again and started freaking out at him not two minutes after he posted that entry. Either he's completely reckless or he thought that creature wouldn't come for him in the daylight. Yeah, big mistake, Chas. That monster has it out for you and going out to a place with no one around like that was just asking him to show up. Sometimes I think my boyfriend has a death wish or something :-/
 All anger and worry aside, I have something I neglected to mention to Chas.
Yeah...I'm sure this is obvious...He showed up here again while Chas was out. Presumably after he accosted Chas on his motorcycle, of course...
Wouldn't you know it, He didn't even bother to stay outside this time. He just waltzed right into our living room. It pretty much gave me a heart attack...I'm sitting there reading a book (its the new book in the Green Rider series btw, its EPIC) and I look up for a second and I see the door to our room open. I pretty much just sat there, dumbstruck, as He walked out of our room and down the hallway towards me. He moves like some old guy with arthritis. Seriously. It took Him like five minutes just to walk down our only kind of long hallway. But, and this is really weird, I found that I couldn't move...I was frozen in place and I couldn't look away from His blank face. I felt those invisible eyes on me again. That gaze that burns me like fire...
He actually touched me this time...He picked me up by my shirt collar and brought my face so it was level with His and just looked at me some more. I managed to break free from whatever was keeping me from moving for a moment and I kicked Him in the stomach. It didn't even fucking faze Him. He looked down at where I kicked Him and then shook me violently a few times.
And then I heard it. His voice echoing inside my brain. I couldn't really make out what He was saying since, you know, every word felt like an ice pick being stabbed into my frontal lobe. Lovely. I screamed at Him to stop, and all that bastard did was tilt His head at a ninety degree angle in the creepy way of his. Oh, and then He produced one of those tentacles and started wrapping it around my neck. Yeah...I started crying and begging then...I thought I was going to die...but then He suddenly looked away out the window. I heard the rumbling of Chas's motorcycle as he parked it out front and I nearly like exploded inside in my relief. Suddenly, He drops me and backs away. I'm just staring up at Him blankly in a heap on the floor before He tilts His head one more time and disappears. I hear Chas outside our door looking for his keys and I quickly scramble into the chair again with my book and greet him like nothing happened when he comes in.

Sorry I didn't mention that before now...I just didn't want you to freak out...I mean, at least I don't have a huge burned scar thing on me like you, Chas.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Sun, finally.

You can believe what you want, I saw Him last night, twice. I don't remember all much the first time, but the second time was true. He was standing at the end of the hall. Just fucking standing there with his head crooked.
And I had no intention of sexy time last night... Malkin....
The sun was finally out, and the apartment was getting cold from the power still being out. I wanted out to get into the cool spring breeze, since the weather hasn't been cooperating with the seasons, it still feels like January out.
I grabbed my helmet off the ground and closed the door behind me. I could tell Malkin was still a little dismayed about last night, but when the sun's up, I act like nothing can get to me. My bike stood in front of Malkin's car. I looked at it for a minuet, surprised it withheld the wind standing against the wind the night before. The rain still trickled down the pitch black paint of the "Honda" lettering. It's a Honda Shadow Phantom. Blacked out with a 745cc V-twin Engine, kicking in the middle. I got on top of it and roared it to life. I breathed in the gas with a heavenly smile, as I adjusted my helmet. The helmet connected to my bike and portrayed the speed limit on the visor.
Oh but this ride, I didn't need to keep track of my speed.
I pulled out of the parking lot and kicked onto the freeway. I kept pulling the gas harder and harder, changing gears with my foot like clock work. The wind picked up, a semi warm breeze that blew threw my red shirt, and cargo shorts.
Next gear.
I took an exit off the freeway to take the back roads, steering away from the cops. the back roads were still filled with leaves, all different colors. It didn't even phase me that it was odd that the trees should be growing leaves, not losing them.
Then I saw it. I slowed way down to something in the road. When I came to a complete stop, I was too late.
I looked up and saw his faceless head looking down at me.
No one was around. My bike idled, confused why I had stopped. His arm came up over both of us.
I was motionless, I was too shocked to even breathe. His arm came down at me, all I did was close my eyes.
I opened them and saw just the road in front of me.
I looked around me in quick motions, scanning the forests. I swallowed hard, and leveled the bike again to continue to the store. I forgot what I even needed at it, and just bought some unneeded milk...
I came home, parking my bike in front of Malkin's car and looked down at my arm. My arm seemed to have a scar coming out of the bandages that I had put on the night before. I touched it with my fingers, it didn't hurt, so I ignored it. I took off my helmet and pushed my hand through my hair, trying to fix it. My motor bike shut off and I grabbed my keys.
I came into the apartment to find Malkin reading on the couch. I put the milk away in the nonworking refrigerator, the door making a click noise.
"What did you get?" Malkin asked from the couch. I stared at the white fridge and shook my head.
"Milk... I forgot what I wanted." I said walking over to him. I kicked my shoes off and laid down next to him. I picked up the remote and tried turning the TV on, to no avail.
I just wanted something to take my mind from Him.
"Try reading a book." Malkin said, not lifting his eyes from his book.
"Hell no, hate reading..." I said feeling bored, almost wishing I went out to look for Him in the woods. I threw the idea out of my head and crossed my arms.

I closed my eyes.

Probably should have mentioned that little tidbit....

Yeah, I probably could have mentioned Chastin having a spazz attack during a tender moment (well, maybe not tender per say, but it was a relief to have him there with me and to know he'd be ok)...but, like Chas mentioned, I didn't see Him standing in the hallway. It was just Chas freaking out at empty space from my perspective...of course, I figured something must have been up and I didn't want anything bad to happen to him again so, being a loving boyfriend, I tackled him like a beast.
Yeah. I am a beast. It feels good.
Anyway, the point is that I'm afraid. I was talking about how He could be anywhere...and when He actually was in our apartment I didn't even know it. Hell, He could've been standing over us while we slept for a long time before He actually made Himself known to's a scary thought....its just as well that something like that could turn invisible though. Of course He would have freaky powers that let Him eat his prey from the shadows.
Chas didn't freak out anymore that night. No more tall, dapper gentleman in a suit. At least, as far as we know...
Maybe I'll like...spray every corner of our apartment with pepper spray or something and see if our skinny friend reveals himself...or maybe I could use spray paint? Pink spray paint. Pink sparkly spray paint so His suit is eternally ruined. He'll be the laughingstock of the creepy critter population.
Yeah...lightening the mood...Chas went to get groceries and now I'm all weirded out.
I should've gone with him...what if he gets attacked again? He was wearing like all red...he'll be like a moving target.
He was also wearing like ten million tons of Axe so I guess he'll be a fragrant snack for our skinny friend....
Gosh, I hope he comes back soon.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Going to bed.

"CHASTIN! JESUS CHRIST!" Malkin... Finally...
"What the hell happened to you, this wound wasn't this bad two hours ago!?" His voice was full of worry, he was struggling to find a calm voice. He was really good at seeing in the dark, something I have never been good at. He turned the water off and took the rag from the sink. He continued to say Jesus over and over. I kept closing my eyes, trying to keep them open, but my body was so exhausted...
Malkin came down to me, and heaved my body up against the bathroom wall. My back rested against the fake wall paper, and my head slung down. Malkin pushed it back, taking my hair with his hand as he looked at me with his dark brown eyes, his face showed all concern for me. I didn't like him feeling so down about me, but I could barely speak to tell him to shut up like I normally do. Malkin raised the hand towel to my face and patted it softly. He moved it down to my arm, seeing it poorly bandaged and said "that's better than I could have done... Chastin what happened to you?"
I blinked.
He blinked.
His mouth arched an upset line, "You're a man of many words..." He put the wash cloth down and grabbed me under my arms. He was more gentle to my right arm. He surprisingly lifted me up and wrapped my left arm around his shoulders and began moving me to the bedroom.
The apartment was eerie... All I could hear was the wind from outside forcing it's rage on anything in it's way.
The bedroom. It was small but so was the amount of stuff we had. The bed was placed in the middle against the wall with one chair next to the right side of it. An analog clock stood awkwardly on the wicker seat. We made it to the bed. My legs were moving but I couldn't feel it.
"Jeez you're heavy. Luckily it's all muscle and height, and not a pot belly, heh..." Malkin said has we sat on the bed. He was trying to lighten the mood, make himself laugh like he usually does in these situations.
It killed me.
Malkin, keeping me upright, took off my ripped shirt and threw it toward the closet. He laid me back and removed my dirty jeans, to then pull the blankets from the floor onto me. If anything he knew what he was doing.
My eyes shifted from him and out the door of the room.

He stood at the end of the hallway.
Just fucking standing there. My headache pounded with every heart beat as it began to beat faster and faster. I all of a sudden carried a bunch of energy, ripping myself from the bed, rushing to my feet and down the hall after him.
Malkin was right behind me, yelling at me that there was nothing there.
But there was, I swear there was. He was there watching us. I didn't want Him anywhere near Malkin. I knew He was capable of hurting Malkin, like he did me.

I was tripped to the floor by Malkin jumping on me. I laid there with him on me, his arms around my chest. His breathing was hard, and he was swallowing deeply. He was trying to hold back tears, I could tell...
My face was against the grey carpet. I started to feel cold tears dropping on my back. I raised my head, He wasn't there anymore...
Or was He even there to begin with...?

I got up, adjusting Malkin into my arms. I could only say three words... "Quiet, you idiot..." So comforting, I'm sure...
He pulled out of my grip and went into the bedroom. I sat there in my underwear, staring at the bed from where I was. I pulled myself up with my left hand and walked back into the dark room. I turned around to look back into the living room, nothing.
Just darkness.

I closed the door...


So...I don't remember Chas's shoulder being mangled when I last looked at it that night...all I saw was the tentacle mark and some blistering. Well, after seeing his last post I pretty much attacked him and made him let me see the wound again (yes, Chas, I went all woman on you just like you wanted to avoid). See, my first thought had been that he just imagined it. I mean, he was pretty out of it when he came home that night and the whole memory loss thing seems to be a sign something is screwy in that head of his...
 I was wrong though. His shirt sleeve was bloody just like he said in his last post. His shoulder was a total looked like parts of the skin were...I don't know...burned? Its hard to say....all I could tell for certain was that its bloody and horribly mutilated. The rest of his arm still has the red tentacle mark thing but it doesn't look nearly as bad as before.
 So, I have to wonder, how did this happen? His shoulder wasn't destroyed when I first saw it that night, but the next day it was. After Chastin fainted like a little fairy (yeah that's right. I called you a fairy. That's payback for the "tight little ass" comment.), I went to bed with the blinds in my room shut tight. I didn't feel like being stared at all night by a certain tall abomination. Speaking of said abomination, I'm pretty sure He didn't come back that night. At least...I was. Now I can't help but think that He came back and hurt Chastin some more while he was out cold...either that or Chas's wound like...progressively got worse over the two hours or so he was out. I don't know...
Its frightening to think about...I don't even know if that monster was in our house that night or if He's been here since...I feel so helpless knowing that if He came here I couldn't do a thing about it.

Its such a strange feeling...that creature can be anywhere at any time He wants. He could appear behind me right now and I would be dead in an instant.

There's no fighting something like the end all I can do is watch and wait. There is no stopping Him...He's far away now, but He'll just keep coming closer. When that day comes that He finally appears at my side, will I even want to run?

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

No Memory.

I'm getting tired of not being able to remember things. I woke up on the couch and I felt disgusting. My skin was coated with dry sweat, my shoulder hurt like a bitch, and my head was spinning with a massive headache. I rolled over on my couch, grabbing the remote off the ground, where it always it. I turned the TV on to see what time it was... and what day it was...
The TV wouldn't turn on though. The batteries in the remote must have been dead or something. I could only see the moon shining through the blinds of my window behind the TV. I groaned, pondering if I should go visit the doctor or something to make sure my arm was still intact.
Or just take a bunch of pain pills...
I heaved my limp body upwards, and forced myself off the couch. The apartment was dark and it seemed like there was any sign of life. Malkin was no where to be seen. Or he was in the back bedroom, hopefully sleeping. I was praying that he didn't see me like this. I didn't want him to get all woman like on me and worry is tight little ass off about me.
Specially when I don't even know what is wrong with me...
I dragged myself to the bathroom, switching the light on, but it never came on.
"Must be a power outage" I whispered to myself as I helplessly switched the light on and off repeatedly.
I opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror, and turned the faucet on to hot. The old sink splattered water on at full blast, getting on my jacket, that I slowly took off, cradling my arm. I let it fall to the floor as I looked at my refection in the dulled lighting. I looked at my reflection on the opened mirror, and focused my attention back to the medicine. I grabbed out some aspirin, and Tylenol, knowing taking both was a bad idea. But my arm hurt so badly, it was the only option.
I didn't want to go back outside...
I held my good hand under the water that refused to turn warm, and grabbed a hand towel that was placed on the counter. I drenched it in the ice water and rose it to my face, wiping the grime and dirt off of it.
I looked down at my right arm. I wanted to keep form seeing the real damage, but the pain was too unbearable to not know why. I looked at my shirt's sleeve, that once used to be white, that was now dried blood. I ripped the sleeve off and saw the mangled remains of my shoulder.
I stood there, more in shock of how I didn't know how this happened. I just stared at my dismantled shoulder, and still oozing blood.
Forcing my eyes to shut.

I took the hand towel again and began wiping dried blood off of my shoulder. I winced in pain, but let out gasps of breathe instead of whimpers. I opened the cabinet again and pulled out the bandages. I pulled the strand out, wrapping my shoulder repeatedly, thinking this was going to fix it.
Pain shot through my arm. I wasn't being careful enough with it.
But I saw His lifeless face again. The pain shot through to my head again, increasing my headache.
Without thinking I grabbed my head with both hands, and fell to the floor of the bathroom.
I could hear the water faintly through the pain... I gasped for breathe. Hoping Malkin was home...

I needed help.