Hey everyone. You may or may not know that KK and I arranged a meeting. We met up today at the Rose Garden around three this afternoon. We chose that place because, for one, it's a pretty big landmark and I could find it easily, and for another, it was a public place, which helps keep Slender Man from showing up. Well, that and KK doesn't trust me (which is understandable since we'd never met before). I had wanted to figure out what she wanted to do regarding Aiden staying with her and on top of that I had been concerned about her from Derek's post. I certainly learned a lot...anyway, here's what we said:
Me: It's good to finally meet you in person.
KK: (She didn’t look away from the glass wall she was staring through; one hand was idly fingering the baton tucked into her wheelchair.) Same here, I guess.
Me: Thanks for looking after Aiden...you definitely saved his life.
KK: Should've killed him. The dumbass had the nerve to show up at my place after I warned him not to.
Me: He was pretty desperate. He is lucky you didn't kill him, though. I'm glad I didn't try and look for him, at least.
KK: Why's that?
Me: I wouldn't want to show up at your place unannounced. I figured me being there at all would be a burden on you.
KK: The only burden would be figuring out where to hide your body until the rats ate away all identifying features. (She still wasn’t looking at me.)
Me: Why didn't you kill Aiden when he showed up? What stopped you?
KK: (She glanced at me for a moment, glaring, the Glasgow Smile and shaved head giving her a VERY scary look.) He WANTED to die. Why would I give him what he wanted? (She looked out the window again, eyes going slightly blank.)
Me: But you're taking care of him now, I'm surprised you haven't thrown him out now that he's done being suicidal.
KK: ....... (quietly) It's nice to have someone else around. That apartment doesn't feel right with less than three people in it. (same quiet tone) Did you ever wonder WHY he comes after us, Malkin? I mean, aside from the obvious answers. I really believe that He is only seen by people He has already decided to prey upon. But why us? What makes people like us so attractive to him? Maybe we aren't supposed to fight him.
Me: I do, but I don't think we'll ever understand. He's an enigma to me. I know there's no escape, at least...
KK: Of course not. But we try anyway. More proof that humans are morons.
Me: It's survival instinct, I suppose. I don't want to die and I don't want to lose Chastin. So, I feel the need to keep fighting to the end.
KK: The end might be closer than you think, Malkin. He's watching us right now. His eyes are everywhere, y'know that? We're being watched right now. Dozens of eyes all around us, all invisible.
Me: I know. He's something beyond our comprehension. He has abilities we can't fight or even understand. Maybe it is just the paranoia, but I feel him watching me every waking moment. It seems so strange that he has the power to observe and stalk every Runner the way he does.
KK: (still flat and quiet) Run run run, as fast as you can. He'll still catch you, he's the Ebony Man. We're all fucked.
Me: As painful as it is to think about, you're right. I like to think there might be a way out, but there isn't one that I can see except maybe memory loss.
KK: Doesn't work. Didn't work for Cancer Kid. Probably won't work for anyone else. (She spun her wheelchair neatly in place, then rolled toward the nearest exit.)
Me: (I followed her.) Where are you going?
KK: (flat) I'm hungry. I'm going to get something to eat.
Me: Can I tag along? I was hoping we could work something out regarding Aiden.
KK: You're already following me. I can't stop you if you keep doing it. (She was outdoors already, rolling through a light rain toward a nearby pizza place.)
Me: So, what are your plans from here on out?
KK: I don't have any. Plans are for people who know what the fuck is going on in their lives.
Me: Are you going to take revenge?
KK: On who? For what? If you're gonna ask a question, be specific. (We entered the pizza place and she ordered a sausage-and-black-olive pizza and a basket of cheesy breadsticks.)
Me: On Andromeda, specifically.
KK: I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of tracking her down. If she comes anywhere near me, I'll blow her brains out, but that's the most I have planned. That's the most I can do.
Me: She probably knows better than to come here anyway. What about Slender Man? Are you going to run or stay and try to outlast him for as long as you can?
KK: (She glared at me, her voice was still quiet but angry and sarcastic.) Yeah, Malkin, I'm gonna RUN. Me and my non-working legs are gonna hightail it out of here. Don't be a dumbass.
Me: You know what I meant. Leave this place, move around like a lot of us have been doing. Maybe not now, but later on.
KK: (back to flat and quiet) No. I'm staying put. If He comes after me, running wouldn't do me any good anyway, so I may as well stay where I'm comfortable.
Me: You aren't...thinking of giving in...are you?
KK: What's it matter to you?
Me: Mostly just friendly concern. I know we don't know each other well, but I still wouldn't want to see you die or become a proxy.
KK: Bullshit. Nobody does anything for "friendly concern". People are self-serving, predatory
bastards, and at the root of ALL action is self-interest. So what interest do YOU have in keeping ME alive?
Me: The way I see it, all those of us being hunted by Slender Man have is each other. Perhaps that's cheesy, and I'm sure you'll tell me it sounds like bullshit, but I honestly don't want you or any of the others I know to die. It's why I followed Aiden here even though involvement with him could mean more trouble for Chas and I in the future.
KK: (She began eating a slice of her pizza.) I'm not gonna be your security blanket. If you wanna be a whiny bitch, find someone else to seek sympathy from.
Me: I don't want sympathy. I wanted to know if I could help you in any way in return for helping Aiden. I'm sure you don't want it, but I'm offering all the same.
KK: You're right. I don't want it. I don't NEED it. The eyes are always watching, Mal. They'll come for me someday. You'd do well to be FAR away when that happens.
Me: How much longer do you think you've got until he decides to come for you?
KK: What HE? The eyes don't belong to Him. He doesn't need eyes to see. He is the one eyed man in the kingdom of the blind. We're all blind, Mal, blinder than we know.
Me: You're right that we're blind. We're only human. We're conceited and greedy creatures and we don't have the power to understand the truths in this universe. It's why we have no defense against him, I suppose. But, if the eyes don't belong to him, then to whom or what do they belong?
KK: To me. And when they open, you'll all pay. (She said this in a perfectly normal tone of voice, if slightly quieter than what I expected given her personality.)
Me: All of us?
KK: All of you. Everyone on Earth. Maybe I'll kill myself before I get to that point, though.
Me: Why the whole world? What do you have against us? I can understand wanting to rain hell on Slender Man and his servants, but why the rest of the world?
KK: Doesn't matter, really. And quit trying to act like a therapist. You suck ass at it.
Me: I know. I'm mostly just trying to understand your motivations. I wanted to know where you'd go from here.
KK: Sorry. You won't find out, because I don't know myself. Plans are irrelevant anyway. Even the most well-thought-out plan dies upon use. So why bother?
Me: It seems like planning gives one purpose, at least.
KK: Purpose is purposeless. (She said this dryly and was possibly making a joke.)
Me: It would keep you from thinking too much about the inevitable death that waits in the near future. It does for me, at least. Of course, I have no clue what to do now either...
KK: There's one huge flaw in your reasoning, Malkin. (She seemed actually ENGAGED for the first time in our entire conversation at this point.)
Me: What's that?
KK: You're assuming I WANT to go on living. What if all I want is to die, and take as much of the world with me as possible?
Me: What about your husband? You won't keep on living for him? I know I can't even imagine the pain you've been through, but at least you still have him.
KK: I'm going to die on him anyway. What's it matter when it happens?
Me: The last time we spoke like this, you acted like you would strive to stay alive even if the worst happened. I suppose a lot has happened to change your way of thinking since then, though.
KK: Quit trying to "understand" me, Malkin. It makes you sound like a condescending dick. I do what I do for my own reasons, or no reasons at all, or just for the fucking fun of it. Whichever it is, it's none of your fucking business.
Me: I'm sorry; I don't mean to offend you. Like I said before, I don't want you to die. I know you don't want me to interfere, and I won't try.
KK: You're still trying by saying that. You're still trying to be "understanding" and "nice". Either say what you're REALLY thinking or get out of my fucking life.
Me: You think that my concern for you is a lie? I'm not trying to be fake in what I'm telling you. I think giving up only plays into Slender Man's hands and that we shouldn't give him the satisfaction. I know you want to die, and if I could help you keep fighting, I would, but it isn't my place and you've made that clear.
KK: No shit. Now, you said something about some "arrangement" to do with Aiden.
Me: I just wanted to know if he ever plans on leaving and to let us know when he does. I heard Bran is coming here, so I'll probably meet up with her. For now, I'm glad he's in good hands. Again, thanks for looking after him.
KK: You'd have to ask him about his plans. I'm not his fucking warden. He's free to leave whenever.
Me: Could you ask him if he'll meet me...here I guess sometime in the next day or so? I'd leave him a comment or email asking him, but I don't know if he'll see it in time.
KK: Again, ask him yourself. (She tossed the remaining 3/4 of the pizza and cheesy breadsticks into the pizza box, set it on her lap, and headed for the door.)
Me: Thanks for meeting me here. (I called over to her as she left.) I'm sorry for the trouble.
KK: (Her only response was to flip me the bird as she headed back out into the rain.)
I realize now that I probably sounded kind of formal...I tend to do that when I'm talking to people I don't know for some reason. As for me saying I wanted to help and all, it was partly prompted from seeing the extent of what Andromeda had done to her. I know she doesn't want my sympathy (she made that clear) and I hope I didn't offend her in any way, but I am grateful to her for helping my friend. I'm glad I got this chance to speak to her in the very least.
Aiden, as you will notice from this conversation, I need to tell you that we should meet up soon to talk about what we're going to do.
So yeah, that was my day. At least it was relatively free of Slendy. I did see him on the way back from the Rose Garden, but he didn't follow me.
I'm honestly not sure what this means for us right now. I wish I had a plan, but I'm at a loss for what to do.
The air feels heavy, like it's forcing me down. I'm more aware than ever of that niggling feeling of being watched.
It feels like something terrible is going to happen soon.