Lost in Darkness.

This place saps me of my will. It makes me want to just run out into the midst of those creatures and let them kill me. Except, I already tried that and they ran away from me. I'm so confused...according to both Robert and Scribe Sigma those critters should attack anyone who doesn't bear slendy's "mark" on sight. 

This place is always changing. The sky will be darker than black one minute and burning like fire the next. The trees are the only constant. They're twisted and deformed, like faces contorted in pain. The leaves turn to dust when I touch them. The buildings here are all scorched and ruined, except for the castle. The castle spears the sky and is...following me. It's coming closer with every step I take in any direction. 

I don't know why I'm still alive. Humans can only be here for minutes before it either saps their strength or the creatures kill them. I've been here for a day now and I'm feeling fine. Slendy definitely isn't here. My senses seem...increased here. I can feel every creature around me and I can feel worse things off in the distance that I hope don't get closer. I can even feel It watching me from the castle. Slendy, however, is not here.

How then am I still alive? It wouldn't protect me from this place and slendy isn't here to do it. 

So then...could I be a Sleeper? For those who don't know what that means, a Sleeper is a proxy that is completely normal before and after the time periods where slendy takes control. The Sleeper has no idea they're a proxy and is just like any other Runner on the surface. 

Slendy could have gotten to me during those tortuous weeks in the apartment after Chas left and I had no idea...

But, it could also be that I'm Ai's Sleeper. That's much much better than the alternative, obviously, but if that is the case I wish he'd have just told me. 

I don't know what to think...it could even be that neither of those possibilities are correct and that I'm alive because of something else entirely. The only other answer I can think of is that I'm just...special...which, of course, makes no sense.

I'm losing my mind...help me, Aiden

It's coming

You're right, Aiden. I feel it, too. There's something ominous in the air here. I wish I could do something to help...I want to kill It as much as Aiden does. I wish I could comfort Taben somehow...he's been a good friend to me.

Aiden and Brennon have spent these last couple days trying to figure out how to deal with our recent tragedy. Taben still hasn't come out of his room and I'm not sure if they've told Allen yet. The young don't usually understand death enough to allow it to grieve them, but Allen's a pretty smart kid. I'm thinking that, somehow, he'll understand, and that isn't necessarily a good thing.

It seems...pleased with itself...god damn I want to murder that thing. Its very presence here right now is an insult. It's gloating. If that thing could smile, it would be grinning from ear to ear in some sick satisfaction at the sorrow and terror it's brought down on the people here.

Slendy's been...strangely morose. Its strange...but I think he feels bad for not being able to save Ry. I don't think he actually cares one way or the other about humans dying, but he cares about the feelings of certain people in this house at least.

I want to help take revenge on It. No...its not really revenge, though, is it? Getting rid of that monster would be some sort of salvation for certain people. If we could stop It, we would save everyone from a ton of heartache. One tall, skinny, murderous monster on our planet is enough.

I had a thought...right now I'm really of no help to anyone. Aiden is probably the best guy for the job of helping slendy kill It right now. Taben is Aiden's proxy but I'm pretty sure he just counts as an Agent. I don't think Agents have special powers, do they?

So, what about the Revenants? Well, apparently they don't actually exist. Lovely. I don't know what any of us can do, then. I had a plan...I was going to ask slendy to turn me into a Revenant. He's going to turn me into his servant eventually anyway...and if it means I can help then I want it. I'm not actually sure what to believe. Reach said they don't exist but Steward's writings suggest otherwise. I'm going to ask slendy about it. I'm sorry if this upsets anyone...but I need to help. I want to be able to do something. If I don't...if we don't stop It...then there's no telling which one of us could go next.

Also...I thought that maybe if I let slendy have me, he'd leave Chastin alone for good. I promise I'll only let slendy turn me if the Revenants really do exist. I know slendy can't lie.

I am willing.

This has been a fun last 12 or so hours

Its kind of strange being here in this new place. I guess I kind of feel...out of the loop? I don't know. All I can really do here is look after Chastin. I heard Ry and Taben fighting last night...it reminded me of the many problems Chastin and I have. I gave Taben a hug, but there isn't much else to say or do that can make that kind of pain go away...

Allen's screaming this morning was...frightening. I thought we were being attacked to be honest. I feel really bad for the little guy...this has been a really rough 12 hours for Taben, too.

I wish I could do something to help everyone. I wish I could be more than just a bystander here.

I don't think Chastin's going to come back if he leaves. I don't think he loves me anymore...not after all that's happened in the last few months. I still care for him, but he tends to be...fickle.

I never did try those words I dreamed about on slendy. I wouldn't even dare try them on It...too risky. They've both been here constantly for a few days. Slendy's angry again...I think something bad is about to happen.

Oh! Chastin is stirring! Finally...lazy ass...

I don't know what to do

Shit...Aiden's post...

They never did show up at my apartment. Now I know why I guess...

Chas, if you read this then please...please don't hurt them. They're just trying to help. God dammit...

I'll never be able to forgive myself if Aiden and Taben get hurt because of us...it isn't their fault Chastin is pretty much losing his mind right now and they shouldn't have to suffer for it.

Slendy...I don't know if you're monitoring our blog or something. I get the hunch that you check out what your victims are blogging about...Anyway, please...save Aiden and Taben. I don't care if we have to keep putting up with your shit, just don't let Chastin hurt them. Maybe I don't have to tell you and you're already going to save them, but I don't know what else to do.

I'm going over there, and if you haven't stopped this I'm going to rip your pale, blank head off you skinny son of a bitch.