Dust to Dust

I've lately taken to just sitting in that crumbling ash pile that used to be our house. This whole ordeal has really made me realize how weak I am. I'm not used to being alone, I'm a wreck and a coward unless someone's here with me to support me. Chastin is gone and now Aiden is too and I have nowhere left to turn but this house. This is the last place I saw Aiden and, for some reason, I feel safe here. In the hotel room I can't sleep. I feel the eyes on me there more than anywhere else. I haven't felt the eyes in months, not since I moved in with Aiden. I didn't exactly miss that burning, gnawing feeling His gaze gives me. I can feel the tentacles crawling under my skin just like they did that night when He mutilated me. I want to rip it all off. I want to tear off my skin and rid myself of the taint. But, then I remember that there is no taint, not anymore. Aiden saved me from the taint, the evil that stole Chastin.

That sort of thing is all I can think about when I'm in the hotel room, but here I feel nothing. I feel as empty as this broken husk that used to be home that I'm sitting in now. It's a nice reprieve. I know the eyes are watching me even now, but here I can ignore them. It's pitch black all around me and I see His form in the trees no matter which way I turn my head, but I don't care, not here. In the hotel room, I would cry and beg Him to leave me be and to give me back Aiden, but not here. Here I can meet His gaze with some measure of courage and sanity.

I know I'm probably sounding rather emo right now. I'm just rambling to pass the time. I'm waiting here for Aiden to come back. The people reading this may have seen the post he made a few days ago. He's starting to see through the illusion at least a little. He's beginning to notice that the things he's seeing aren't possible. I don't think he's quite come to understand that Brennon and Branwen can't be alive, but he is starting to doubt because of the sight of the parents and siblings he knows for certain passed awhile ago. I guess it must be easier for him to see through that illusion because he has fully accepted their deaths. It's too soon to hope that he might realize that Brennon and Branwen aren't real because he hasn't completely let them go. This is, of course, just speculation on my part, but it all seems very likely to me. It gives me hope that he might still break free on his own before his paradise becomes a living hell. 

I know for certain that I cannot come to Aiden's rescue. The world he's seeing was tailored specifically for him. It is made from his memories and the people he regrets losing. Even if I were to force my way into whatever labyrinth He has Aiden in, it's very unlikely that I would even see the same things Aiden does and so I wouldn't be able to even find him, much less pull him out.

So, I'm just going to keep up my vigil here. There's no point in fooling myself by telling myself that it isn't safe here and that I should get inside. Nowhere is safe from Him. It doesn't make any difference where I am, He can still find me and kill me.

If I'm going to die, it might as well be here, in this place where Aiden, and now I, lost everything.

Not that I'm planning on dying anytime soon, mind you. I'm just brooding, so don't think I've given up yet. I plan on finding Aiden again, and I'm not going to let Him get in my way.

I'm not going to be a coward any longer, just watch.

Nothing Yet

I haven't found any clues to Aiden's whereabouts yet. I've been back to the house every day since Aiden disappeared in the hopes that something, anything, might turn up, but I've found absolutely nothing. It's frustrating...I'm literally about ready to tear my hair out. I'm so worried about him...this "paradise" he's seeing can't last. This is a trap, it must be. It will eventually turn into a nightmare and Aiden might get killed if I don't get him out before that happens.

It would be great if I could at least figure out where he is. Has he been transported to some alternate reality? Is he in some secluded place in the middle of nowhere stuck in a delusion and imagining his loved ones around him? Either possibility could be correct for all I know. I have no idea who might be able to help me...I would ask Constance, but I don't think she can do much for me. I can't exactly go up to Slendy and demand he tell me what's going on. Believe me, I already tried that and all I got for my trouble was being knocked out for a few hours and waking up in the middle of the woods.

I don't know how to proceed from here...I keep going back to the house every few hours in the hope that Aiden might materialize there, but that's about the extent of my ability. I don't know if anyone has been following this post's comment thread, but I've managed to contact him there. I just need to do my best to try to talk him into believing me.

On another note, I found something disturbing on the dresser in my hotel room this morning. It was a note in Chastin's handwriting.

All it said was, "I have no mouth, and I must scream."

Yeah, I know that that's a reference to the Harlan Ellison short story of the same name.

Of course, I was not aware that Chastin had read that particular piece of literature since he hates reading. But I digress...

The more pressing matter at hand is the fact that he's here in Ohio and that he wandered into my hotel room last night while I was asleep. I'm not safe here...but I can't leave, not while Aiden is in trouble.

I don't know what to make of the message...I'll spend some time thinking about it. It'll give me something to do while I'm waiting for Aiden to reply to my last comment.

I feel bad

I just saw Aiden's post. As I said, I feel bad. I feel bad that he thinks he has no one to go to right now. I've spent a lot of time in my room trying to make sense of the things Chastin wrote. It's been difficult. I've gotten a peek at all the mad ravings and at the darkest corners of his mind, things that he wasn't able to trust even me with. It's...depressing and frightening to be honest. I want to help Aiden and I know I need to try harder from now on. It's important that I read what Chastin wrote, but it's more important that I be there for Aiden so that he knows I care.

I think he's still awake. I'll go out and sit with him for awhile.

Betrayal

All I can really say is that I didn't see this coming. Derek was a proxy? KK murdering him and declaring that all other proxies she encountered would get the same? She and I talked once awhile ago and she told me she would strive for revenge against Slender Man and his servants should the worst happen, then it did and she told me she'd given up. I don't understand it...

I'm not sure what happens now. I want to be there for Aiden now that he's alone again. If he does go back to being with us, though, what will we do then? He sounded like he wanted to stay here in his post. Mind you, there really isn't anything better for us to do anyway...I suppose I had hoped we might try to find KK and put an end to this, but she'd definitely kill us if we found her.

The only problem with the whole staying here thing is that the longer we're here, the more likely it is that Slender Man will murder us. As I hinted at earlier, Chastin and I had a horrible encounter with him over the weekend. My left arm (the one that had been broken but was healing) is pretty much a bloody mess. I'm missing two fingers and the skin all over my arm is in tatters. It kind of looks like I was caught in an explosion, or at least it did before we went to the hospital Saturday night. My arm is now covered in heavy bandages and in a sling since the bone went back to being snapped in half. I've had to have Chastin type all this out for me. It's time I recount what happened to us, but I need to do it in another post since it'll be a long one. I'll have that up tonight too, I promise.

For now, Aiden, we're going to need to come to where you are. I'll call you. I hope you won't be too shocked at how messed up we are...

Waiting for Aiden

We don't really have a lot to do with ourselves right now. Chas found a job, so we won't starve, in the very least. We have to keep moving hotels every night or else we receive unpleasant nighttime visits from various intruders. A few nights ago it was Slendy standing in the corner and a couple nights before that it was several proxies breaking into our room and attempting to murder us. 

We're pretty much at a loss for what to do right now. We don't go out after dark and we always stick together. My parents live down in Salem, which is only an hour away from here, so we decided it would be best to take our cats to live with them for awhile.

Until Ai is able to come back to us, we don't really have many allies at this point. I was kind of hoping we would run into Bran, but I'm not sure that will be possible at this point. I don't want to burden KK with us being around, so I think it's best we remain on our own for now.

He's in the street staring at our window right now. I can feel his gaze even through the curtains. It feels as though insects are crawling all over me and I can feel him trying to speak to me. If he doesn't stop, I'm probably going to pass out. We're debating on whether or not we should change hotels, but going outside seems like a bad idea right now.

I can't pass out...I can't leave Chastin alone. If I do, I know Slendy will try and kill him. Slendy's wanted Chastin all along. He's been at this for years and hasn't succeeded. Every time he's tried something's gotten in his way. Now, however, there's nothing that can stop him. I can't protect Chas...

I know it's probably bad to think this...but I'm kind of unhappy that the illusion was dispelled now. At least when it was still in place we had something that kept Slendy from murdering us. Ah well, I don't want to seem ungrateful to KK for snapping Aiden out of it. I'm mostly just musing to take my mind off of the pain. I suppose I could just let him talk to me, but I don't really want to take chances anymore.

Ai...I know you and KK are deciding what to do. Please hurry...

He's now standing in the hallway outside our room. I can see him through the peep hole thing. He's smiling.

Fuck

I feel horrible. I feel like my entire body is about to fall apart. If you read Ai's recent post, you'll know that the Hatchling thing was all an illusion. Slender Man was just fucking with Ai's head the whole time and it spread to everyone he was in contact with. I was never a Revenant...the injuries I sustained that I thought healed are all still here and a few of them, like the broken arm and the wounds I got in my shoulder when Ai threw the large glass object at me a week or so ago, are even worse than they were when I got them because I unknowingly left them untreated.

The only explanation I can come up with for the doctors at the hospital only noticing my burns is that the illusion somehow spread to them as well. God...Slender Man's power is greater than I ever imagined. If he can create an illusion as complete and flawless as the one he cast on us, then there's no comprehending what else he must be capable of. I guess that is his specialty, though. He worms his way into your thoughts and rips you apart from the inside out, laughing while he does it. I'm in shock right now...I guess I'm finally coming to terms with my mortality.

I think the only reason KK didn't get infected by the illusion is because it was already so close to wearing off at that point. Slender Man is done fucking with us. That's part of what he meant when he showed up in our hotel room that night. He's not going to play games and promise fake truces anymore.

So yeah, I'm in absolutely no shape to be going anywhere. We're in Portland right now and Chas and I are going to the hospital soon to get my broken arm, broken nose, and the now infected cuts made by the glass in my shoulder patched up. I'm pretty much a walking disaster right now, but I'm not complaining. I could be a lot worse and I'm extremely happy the illusion broke when it did.

You know...Ai, myself, Chastin, and Brennon were all essentially slenderproxies. We were completely under his control and had no idea the entire time. There's no other explanation for it...it's the only way Ai and I would have been able to enter the Path. We were Sleepers. We were puppets on his strings. I guess Slendy got what he wanted from Chas and I, even if it was only for a short time. He isn't finished with us yet though...that much is certain.

We'll be here in Portland waiting for you, Ai. I promise Chas doesn't want to kill you. I explained everything to him and he understands that none of this was your fault. We'll do our best not to die in the mean time.

Problems have arisen

So...Aiden's at KK's apartment...I'm happy he's safe, but this presents the problem that I have no idea where the hell KK lives. I suppose it's probably better that I lay low for awhile. I'm pretty sure KK doesn't want me there anyway, even if it's to help Ai. I can only hope he'll actually bother to read this at some point so he'll know that I'm here looking for him.

We're somewhere in Colorado right now and still driving. I know it's late, but we found out the hard way that we can't stop for too long anymore.

You see, a few hours after I posted about our ordeals yesterday, we stopped at a hotel to rest. I figured we'd be okay for the time being. I mean, Slendy showed up in my apartment every day for a few weeks and I survived the encounter. He drove Chastin crazy that same week and he's perfectly fine now. Besides, we're Runners at the moment. I figured it would be alright to stop at least once, especially since we were in a different state. Hell, I thought he'd try and murder us in our hospital beds, but he never did.

You can probably see where I'm going with this. It was about 2am, if I remember correctly. I woke up because Chastin elbowed me in the nose (by the way, the pain from said elbowing to the nose was excruciating, which is odd since my nose healed after Ai broke it...). Everything seemed normal. The cats were asleep on Chas' chest and I didn't feel anything strange. I got up and went to get aspirin for the headache being elbowed in the nose gave me. Again, everything seemed perfectly fine.

As I was walking back to the bed, I began to feel a prickling in my toes that quickly shot its way up to the top of my head, causing my hair to stand on end and making me shiver. I began to get a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I expected to see Slendy being his creepy self in the corner or something, but he wasn't there. I peeked out the window, but he wasn't standing out there either. I got back in bed, but lay awake for another half an hour or so. I couldn't shake the feeling I had. I wanted to wake Chastin up and leave that very moment. I couldn't take being in the room...it was almost painful.

After about fifteen minutes, I began shaking. I could feel the burning eyes. The eyes that pick me apart from the inside out and leave me a broken husk of a man. They bored into the back of my skull, but every time I turned over I found nothing but blank wall. Eventually, I woke Chastin up and told him what was wrong.

"Calm down." He said. "Here, hold my hand and don't look away from me, you'll feel better."

I stared at him like that for another fifteen minutes and, eventually, the bad feeling went away. The last thing I remembered was staring at his nose and thinking that it was really big (you may recall that making myself laugh during frightening situations is the only way to make myself feel better).

I woke up again later feeling a cold hand on my arm. I remained perfectly still and tried not to scream. I kept my eyes fixed on Chastin and tried to tell myself it was only his hand, knowing all the while what was behind me. Slowly, I reached over to Chastin and touched his shoulder. When he didn't respond, I shook him gently and gradually became more and more violent. Chas opened his eyes and looked at me blearily for a moment before his eyes widened when he saw what was behind me. I silenced him with an imploring look, hoping that maybe the monster behind me would go away (in retrospect, it was kind of childish, but I was terrified out of my mind so you should give me a break). The cats had moved to the end of the bed since I'd fallen asleep, and, suddenly, they both woke up and began hissing violently before running to hide under one of the dressers.

I couldn't ignore it any longer. I wrenched my arm away from the hand that was holding it and turned around.  Slendy was looking down at me, obviously. Thinking back on it, that was probably the most terrifying I have ever seen him. He radiated a dark aura of sickening, sadistic glee. It took me a moment, but I realized that he was smiling. Remember when he bit the head off of that proxy? I wouldn't call what he has a mouth exactly. It's more like a split in his head a few inches above his chin. He does indeed have teeth. Sharp teeth. His "smile" stretched from where his ears would be and is probably the most horrific thing I have ever seen, and I've seen a lot of freaky shit.

I should also point out that I've never felt more helpless in my life. I don't have my badass Revenant powers anymore. I can't even hope to fend him off...I can't protect Chastin and I can't even keep myself alive. All I could think about that night was that he could kill me at any moment. He stood over us like that for a long time and after awhile I felt that same excruciating pain that occurs whenever he tries to talk to me. I didn't let him in and, eventually, I'm assuming I passed out from the pain. I woke up the next morning with Chastin asleep next to me and the cats taking up all the foot space.

Chastin doesn't remember what happened. At first, I thought I might have imagined it all, but now I'm certain that I didn't. Slendy was trying to send a message. There's nothing stopping him from killing us now. The only reason he didn't last night is because he loves wallowing in our fear and helplessness.

So, Chas and I are living on borrowed time. Great. I tried to tell Chastin about what happened and, thankfully, he believes me. We won't be stopping again until we get there. It's just too dangerous at this point...

I don't know how finding Ai will help us at this point, but I still want to make sure my friend is safe. We'll manage somehow...

Well, I hope we don't die. Wish us luck on that...

It's been rough

Hey guys. Sorry it's been so long. Chas and I have been through a lot these past few days since I last posted and since, you know, Ai tried to kill us.

That night when I woke up after Ai's emotions knocked me out, I didn't realize it at first, but what had woken me up was actually the fire alarm and I could smell smoke coming up from downstairs. Chas and I went to the top of the stairs and found that half of the downstairs was on fire. Suddenly, a burning shape darted up the stairs and collapsed at our feet. Chas grabbed the fire extinguisher from the bathroom and put out whatever it was. Now, you may recall me telling Ai that I'm going to hurt him in very painful ways for what he did to Raven, Taben's cat. This is why. When the fire was out, I realized that the shape was a cat. It mewled at me weakly and then died in my hands. You see, I'm a huge animal lover. Seeing any animal in pain pretty much drives me over the edge and you can only imagine how this made me feel. Chas had to drag me off the floor and force me to move because I'd gone into some sort of shocked and sorrowful stupor.

Our cats, Steve and Bear, had been asleep on our bed and, thankfully, we'd thought to close the door after ourselves when we went out to see what was happening, or else they probably would have ended up like Raven (which would have been too much for me to handle, honestly). We couldn't escape through the downstairs, as the fire was already spreading up the stairs, so the only option open to us was to jump out a window. I grabbed our blanket and wrapped up our cats in it so we could carry them both more easily while Chas went to the other windows in the other rooms to see if there were any safer places to jump from. I heard a cry and a few moments later Chas came back in with burns on his hands, his arm, and his cheek. We ran into Allen's room, which faced the front of the house and had the roof over the porch beneath it that we could use to get down. The smoke was overwhelming at that point. It burned my eyes and throat and I felt like I was going to collapse. I could hear my cats meowing in confusion and fear from inside the blanket and that and Chas's yelling were really the only things that kept me going. Chas used a chair to break the window and I had him climb out first since he was already injured. I handed him the bundle with our frightened cats in it and then he helped me out. The fire was spreading quickly and was already entering the room behind me. Chas managed to climb down to the ground and had me throw our cats to him. Thinking I would be alright, I jumped down from the roof we'd been on since it wasn't that far from the ground.

It was at this point that I realized that I wasn't a Revenant anymore. I had fractured my ankle from jumping and I had minor burns on my arms and hands. I sat waiting for them to heal, but they never did. I was shocked and confused. I could still feel my connection to Aiden, but it hit me that he must have taken away my powers when he left. I realized that the smoke would have probably debilitated me had I still had my hypersensitivity and that I would have noticed the fire the moment it gave off smoke had I still had my heightened senses. Slowly, it all made sense and I began to feel more helpless than ever.

Chas left for a few moments and came back with our cats' carriers that we'd been keeping in my car (I'd had it sent here awhile ago). Steve and Bear were still frightened, but it made me feel much better knowing that we'd all survived. Chas called the Fire Department and they and the police arrived within 15 minutes. After an hour, they'd gotten the fire put out (it had only spread to a few of the trees, so thankfully we avoided a major forest fire) and told us that they had determined it to be arson. The police questioned us, and we told them we woke up to the blaze. Before they had arrived, Chas and I had discussed what story we would give them. He had been all for telling them that Aiden had started it, but I convinced him to lie with me. I know Ai didn't do this out of any kind of hate for us. I know he didn't mean to kill us and I still consider him my good friend. So, when the cops asked where Ai was, I told them he was visiting a friend in Portland and that we had been planning on meeting him there in a few days. Since there have been so many hate crimes against homosexuals in that area in the past, the police decided that the fire must have been a hate crime also. They told us they'd look into it and then we were taken to the hospital. My injuries were so minor that they released me after an overnight stay. Chas' burns were only slightly worse, however, they kept him for two days out of concern for the huge tentacle shaped scar that ran down his arm that slendy had given him months earlier. It still looks blistered and painful, but all they really did in the end was wrap it up in a bandage.

Chas and I are driving to Portland after Aiden now. We managed to rescue our laptops, wallets, phones, and my car keys before we jumped out (I forgot to mention that) because they were all in our room. The cats are in the back and seem to think we're on an extremely long car ride to the vet because they're both weirding out. Anyway, I just thought I'd let you guys know what's up and that we'll be there in a day or so. My connection with Ai still holds and hopefully that won't break before we get there so I can find him.

The only real concern I have right now is Slender Man. We're both vulnerable now. I can't chase him off and hope to survive the encounter like I used to be able to. If he decides to kill us now, there won't be anything we can do about it and Aiden really will be on his own.

 Well, we're pretty much doing what normal runners do right now, so maybe we'll be able to avoid him for awhile.

Oh...I just realized my college will be starting up again in late September. Wow, I need to get all these problems that have popped up worked out quickly if I want to avoid becoming a fifth year senior. That would suck.

I'll get back to you guys when something interesting happens.

Aiden

I thought it would be better to leave Ai alone for a couple days. Were I in his position, I would want to spend time alone to think before I let others come back into my life. But, it wasn't just that...

Firstly, it's difficult for me to be around him right now. Since our minds are connected, I feel everything he does unless I put effort into closing the connection. I've had to do that a lot lately. Normally, he has enough control to keep his emotions from flooding across the link that binds us. Now, however, I often feel random surges of anguish, despair, and roiling anger. Sometimes it becomes so strong that even trying to shut him out doesn't work. This morning, for example, I woke up to an overwhelming, heart wrenching grief that caused me to break down sobbing. It scared Chastin and it surprised me. I was so overcome that I had to have him carry me out of the house to get far enough from Ai to recollect myself.

Secondly, I...don't know if I can face him right now. I mentioned earlier that I feel partly responsible for Brennon's death and every time I've tried to go to his room and talk to him I've lost my nerve.

Ai hates me for avoiding him...and I feel awful for what it must be doing to him.

A few hours have passed. I meant to end with that but some things have happened in that time that deserve mention.

I was about to post, but Aiden came bursting into my room. His eyes were wild and his tentacles were out. It took everything I had in me to close the connection, or else the surge of emotion would have probably temporarily paralyzed me. I stood up, but before I could say anything, he hit me as hard as he could in the face. It hurt more than anything I've ever experienced in my life thanks to my damned hypersensitivity. I was doubled over and bleeding everywhere. Little lights winked in and out of my vision and I felt like I was going to faint. Finally, I was able to straighten up. I was covered with blood and I could tell my nose was broken. Aiden was still seething and he threw another punch at me. This one I was able to catch in my hand. He looked shocked, but I pushed past him to the mirror beside the bed, where I spent another few painful minutes straightening out my nose and watching as my advanced healing mended the broken bone and cartilage.

I wiped off the excess blood from my face and turned back to face Ai. Chas appeared in the doorway and, seeing that I had been hurt, tried to launch himself at Ai. I managed to catch him in time and told him to go downstairs. I promised him I was fine and that I would work things out. He looked concerned, but he did as I asked.

Ai became even angrier at this point. He wrapped his tentacles around my arms and shoved me against a wall. I didn't try to retaliate. I merely looked into his eyes and waited for him to speak.

"Why are you never here for me when I need you?" He demanded angrily. "If you'd been with me, we could have protected Brennon. IF YOU'D DONE YOUR JOB, HE'D STILL BE ALIVE. Instead, you've been spending your time protecting your precious Chastin. Even now, when I need you most, you hide away trying to protect him. I SAVED YOUR FUCKING LIVES BACK THEN AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! YOU HOLD JUST AS MUCH BLAME AS THAT BITCH ANDROMEDA FOR BRENNON'S DEATH! I should kill you right now you...no...killing you wouldn't repay you in full. Killing you won't make you understand. No...you're my servant aren't you? You should have to feel the pain I do. Taben and I lost everything, so maybe you should too. You're in just as deep as we are and yet you still have shreds of your humanity and the source of your happiness is still alive. No...I need to rip away that source of happiness just as mine was. Then you'll understand. I'll bring you down to my level and then you'll know just how great of a mistake you made when you let him die! I'M GOING TO KILL CHASTIN AND THEN YOU'LL KNOW MY PAIN. I'LL MAKE SURE HE GOES THROUGH THE SAME TORTURE BRENNON DID AND I'LL SEE TO IT THAT YOU HAVE TO WATCH AS HELPLESSLY AS I DID! Then you'll know what it feels like to watch your entire world die without the power to stop it. I HOPE IT TEARS YOU APART! I HOPE IT DRIVES YOU OVER THE EDGE AND LEAVES YOU BEGGING FOR DEATH!"

He continued on like that for awhile. His tentacles dug into my arms and drew blood. The force of his emotions felt like a metal spike being hammered into my skull and I barely had enough strength to keep the dam that held back his thoughts and feelings from breaking. I was able to listen to that first part of his tirade, but eventually it became too much and I had to focus all my energy and thought on maintaining the wall between our minds.

It's truly amazing what grief can do to a person. I never thought I would see the usually easygoing, kind Aiden turn into that cruel, merciless animal I saw today. I know he didn't mean any of it, though. It was fueled by sorrow, guilt, and hatred towards Andromeda and Slender Man and I just happened to be in his path when the dam finally burst.

Finally, he ran out of insults and death threats and he grew silent. I continued to stare into his eyes and, after a few moments, the tentacles released their grip and he dropped to his knees. I helped him up and made him sit down on the bed. His eyes were full of despair and he looked utterly dejected. I left the room for a moment to clean up all the blood off of myself (the wounds on my arms his tentacles had made had already healed by that point) and, when I came back, Ai sent another tentacle speeding towards my neck. I caught this one and held it tightly even though it burned me, causing Ai to wince in pain.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop Andromeda, Ai." I said, guilt heavy in my voice. "I'm sorry for failing you and I'm sorry for avoiding you." Tears began spilling from my eyes, but I continued on. "I know I haven't experienced loss to the degree that you have, but that doesn't mean I don't know how you feel. I was avoiding you because your emotions tend to overwhelm me when I get close to you. I've experienced every bit of pain that you have over these past few days like it was my own." He looked up at me, confused, and was about to reply, but I interrupted him. "If you're going to take your anger out on someone, do it to me. I can take it. If you want to hate someone, hate me. If you want to hurt someone, hurt me, not Chastin. He didn't do anything, so leave him out of it. I share blame for Brennon's death, Chastin doesn't. You aren't a murderer, Ai. You're a good person and I don't want to see you corrupt yourself out of grief like Taben did. So please, hit me, cut me, do whatever you want to me to make yourself feel better. I won't die and I won't hate you for it. I am your faithful servant after all. All I ask in return is that you leave Chas out of this."

Ai seemed at a loss for words. I gave him a hug and he seemed to calm down. A moment later he took hold of my forearm with a tentacle and wrenched it as hard as he could. I heard the snap and saw the bone protruding through the skin, but I did my best to hide that I was in immense pain. I released him and he looked at me for a few moments as if expecting me to retaliate. I merely smiled at him and began attempting to push the bone back down so it wouldn't heal improperly. He frowned as if thinking and went back to his room. It wasn't until after he left that I curled up and howled into my pillow in pain until my arm went numb. I'm rather impressed with myself.

I haven't heard anything from him since and I'm going to go check on him again soon. My arm is healed up and I'm ready to take another beating if he's still angry. Let's hope things improve from here...my new mission is to make sure Ai doesn't let himself become a monster.

Disbelief

Frankly, I'm at a loss for what to say. There's just been too much death in these last two months...too much misery. I knew that Ai could cope with losing his siblings and his parents before them because of Brennon. Now though...now that Brennon's gone...what will he do? What can I do to help him cope?

I cannot pretend to understand what it feels like to lose someone...especially not someone I cherish as much as Aiden did Brennon. I know that there's nothing I can say that will make this any easier on him.

He hasn't left his room since he came home. I walked past the door once and it was open just enough for me to glimpse him sobbing. His tentacles were flailing violently from his back and there were many broken objects on the floor along with glass from the shattered mirror next to the bed. I suppose he heard my thoughts, because he looked up at me after a few moments even though I hadn't made a sound. His face was full of anguish and I had to shut off my mind from his to keep out the overwhelming flood of emotion. We looked at each other for awhile, but eventually he shut the door with a flick of a tentacle.

I don't know how to help. I feel absolutely useless. I should have been there to help him...I could have fought off Andromeda long enough for Aiden to get Brennon out. I should have known that Slender Man would do something like this. If only I'd had the foresight to know this was coming. I would've helped Aiden watch over Brennon. Together we could have stopped this. I let Aiden guard him all by himself and I didn't even stop to think that any danger could still exist.

If anything...I share responsibility for Brennon's death. Now, because of my thoughtlessness, I don't know if my friend will ever recover. All I want to do right now is rip Andromeda into little pieces, but she isn't the root of the problem. She's just another pawn. The real enemy is Slender Man, and if I'm not careful, he'll murder Chastin too.

I don't care what it takes. Slender Man isn't coming anywhere near Chastin or Aiden if I can help it. I'm not going to sit by any longer. I know I'm just a Revenant. I'm not a hatchling like Ai. I don't know if I have the power to fend off Slender Man...but I'm certainly going to try. Right now, fighting back is all I can do to help Ai.

I can hear Aiden smashing things in his room again. I'm not sure if I should go in and try to talk to him. No doubt he wants to be left alone. Normally, I would think that the best cure would be for him to be around his friends and the comfort of their sympathy. Sometimes, however, it's best to confront the reality of one's situation on one's own. 

If he needs a friend to be with him, I'll be there, all he needs to do is ask. For now, however, I'm going to stay out of it for his own sake. Right now I've got important business to take care of.

Home at last

It's wonderful to be out of that place. The Path of Black Leaves definitely isn't meant for humans. Even me, a proxy, could hardly stand it.

Ai, please don't think of it as a betrayal. I'm happy to be your proxy, it's what we'd been thinking about all along, isn't it? Slendy couldn't take me because I wouldn't let him in. You, on the other hand, I trust and I wouldn't close my mind off to you involuntarily like I do to slendderp. So, it's okay. Don't let it freak you out. I'm fine with it and with you I know I won't become some mindless Hallowed.

Chastin came back this morning, too. He got here just in time to see me just kind of appear in front of him holding on to Ai. The look on his face was priceless. I guess you can really only tell that a portal to the Path of Black Leaves has been opened when you're around trees and can see their leaves turn black...

Anyway, first I slapped him, then I gave him a monster hug and kiss (maybe that's a little cliche...). He apologized to me and told me that he needed a little more time away. I told him it was fine. Slendy was right the last time I talked with him, Chas needs time to understand all of this.

So yeah, it's nice not being surrounded by horrible monsters for a change. I guess we know now why slendy wanted to bring me into the Path of Black Leaves. He wanted to see whether or not I was already a proxy. Lovely...well, I'm fairly happy with how things turned out.

Thanks, Ai. I owe you cookies.

Lost in Darkness.

This place saps me of my will. It makes me want to just run out into the midst of those creatures and let them kill me. Except, I already tried that and they ran away from me. I'm so confused...according to both Robert and Scribe Sigma those critters should attack anyone who doesn't bear slendy's "mark" on sight. 

This place is always changing. The sky will be darker than black one minute and burning like fire the next. The trees are the only constant. They're twisted and deformed, like faces contorted in pain. The leaves turn to dust when I touch them. The buildings here are all scorched and ruined, except for the castle. The castle spears the sky and is...following me. It's coming closer with every step I take in any direction. 

I don't know why I'm still alive. Humans can only be here for minutes before it either saps their strength or the creatures kill them. I've been here for a day now and I'm feeling fine. Slendy definitely isn't here. My senses seem...increased here. I can feel every creature around me and I can feel worse things off in the distance that I hope don't get closer. I can even feel It watching me from the castle. Slendy, however, is not here.

How then am I still alive? It wouldn't protect me from this place and slendy isn't here to do it. 

So then...could I be a Sleeper? For those who don't know what that means, a Sleeper is a proxy that is completely normal before and after the time periods where slendy takes control. The Sleeper has no idea they're a proxy and is just like any other Runner on the surface. 

Slendy could have gotten to me during those tortuous weeks in the apartment after Chas left and I had no idea...

But, it could also be that I'm Ai's Sleeper. That's much much better than the alternative, obviously, but if that is the case I wish he'd have just told me. 

I don't know what to think...it could even be that neither of those possibilities are correct and that I'm alive because of something else entirely. The only other answer I can think of is that I'm just...special...which, of course, makes no sense.

I'm losing my mind...help me, Aiden

Far and Away

I just want to establish that we are taking the kitties with us. I know everyone (Taben) was concerned about that XD

Also, I'm assuming Chastin is still passed out in one of the guest bedrooms. If you want to leave, snuggly bear, I won't stop you. I just want you to know that its dangerous out there. I saw ///It///. I definitely prefer the Slender Man. Seriously, that creature is...an abomination. Much more so than slendderp, at least.

Slendy's been around, but he's just been ignoring me so far. He hasn't gone near Chastin as far as I know. I caught him "staring" at me once and when I looked up at him to meet his gaze at where his eyes would be I felt this kind of...roiling anger. He really doesn't like the fact that we're here, that's for sure. I guess he's mad his prey temporarily escaped him.

It was actually kind of funny...///It/// was peeking in through a window at me and slendy went outside and like...shooed him away. It made me lol. I think slendy is afraid that ///It/// is going to try to kill Chas and I. He doesn't want ///It/// taking his playthings away, I suppose.

I am reassured, at least, that ///It/// won't attack Chastin if he leaves. Slendy may want Chas either dead or under his control, but he won't let any harm come to him from anything other than himself. I gotta hand it to slendy, he's pretty dedicated.

Wow...slendy just can't win can he? Thanks for saving us Ai and Taben. Its really going to help even if Chas is almost certainly going to run away as soon as he wakes up. How do I know this? He's always been a hard headed, stubborn guy. He likes doing things on his own and I've never been able to stop him. He's...well, as I stated before, quite the badass even if he doesn't look like it.

In the very least he'll get to see his beloved cat, Bear, when he wakes up.

This is unexpected

So, apparantly, Chastin is now at Aiden's house. I'm certainly confused...

I'm going to assume that Chastin ran into slendy while he was off running away from us and got moved to Ai's house. Slendy must have listened to Aiden.

While I do suppose this is a good thing, I just want to warn Brennon that Chastin will probably run away the moment he wakes up and I doubt anyone there can stop him. He's a lot more badass than he looks, trust me.

 I just want to tell you, Brennon, that you shouldn't try to stop him. He needs to get his head on straight before we can do anything to help him. So, if he wants to go, please let him go...

All we can really do is be there for him when he decides to come back. Slendy, I'm sure, won't try and stop him.

Chas, I'm so sorry we tied you up...Brennon's right, we shouldn't be surprised you ran away. Please forgive me...and, when you're ready, please come back to me. I just want to be together again.

So yeah, Brennon, just let him go if he wants to. He'll be ok.

You are a stupid son of a bitch.

Chastin, I swear to God I'm going to knock you out the next time I see you. How could you do this knowing the danger you're in? I KNOW you saw the Slender Man when we were all in your apartment. You can't deny it. He was standing in freaking full view of the entire room like exploding with anger.

He's gone now. Yeah, he's coming after you you idiot. I don't care if you don't believe me. If you don't come back you're going to either die or be turned into a proxy. The only reason slendy wanted me was to get to you. Now I'm safe and the only thing he can do now is come after you. He's going to focus all of his energy on getting to you now. Before, at least, I could distract him. That isn't the case anymore. Aiden's house is a safe zone. He won't come near me there. You need to come here...please.

Slendy isn't finished with me yet, though. He's pissed that he was never able to break me. He's going to turn you into a proxy and use you to get to me, just like he originally planned to do except the other way around.

He doesn't like losing, Chas. Thanks to Aiden and Taben he almost lost us and he was so...enraged. He wanted to rip all of our heads off yesterday, I could tell.

Now he's got the perfect opportunity to get you. You're an idiot...

Please...please come home. I'm begging you. If you love me at all you will come home.

If you still have the will to live you will come home...

I am quite relieved

I'm here with Aiden and Taben at Chastin's place right now. I'm so relieved they're ok...and I feel awful for what Chastin tried to do. When I entered his loft place I think it caught Chastin off guard. He looked up at me with a confused, almost lost look on his face. He clearly had no idea what he was doing. Aiden and I were able to subdue him after that. As he says, Chas is tied up to a chair. God I feel horrible for doing that to him...he looked at me like what I was doing was the worst of betrayals as we were doing it.

But its the only way...he's on the brink of losing his mind and becoming a proxy.

Slendy's here but I don't think he'll do anything to Chas and I while Aiden's here, too. Wow though...he's...livid. I can feel it radiating off of him. I'm not sure if Aiden and Taben are noticing it, too. Maybe they're just ignoring it.

Thanks for helping us Aiden and Taben. I'm sorry you guys almost died due to my boyfriend's serious case of crazy.

I don't know what to do

Shit...Aiden's post...

They never did show up at my apartment. Now I know why I guess...

Chas, if you read this then please...please don't hurt them. They're just trying to help. God dammit...

I'll never be able to forgive myself if Aiden and Taben get hurt because of us...it isn't their fault Chastin is pretty much losing his mind right now and they shouldn't have to suffer for it.

Slendy...I don't know if you're monitoring our blog or something. I get the hunch that you check out what your victims are blogging about...Anyway, please...save Aiden and Taben. I don't care if we have to keep putting up with your shit, just don't let Chastin hurt them. Maybe I don't have to tell you and you're already going to save them, but I don't know what else to do.

I'm going over there, and if you haven't stopped this I'm going to rip your pale, blank head off you skinny son of a bitch.