Dust to Dust

I've lately taken to just sitting in that crumbling ash pile that used to be our house. This whole ordeal has really made me realize how weak I am. I'm not used to being alone, I'm a wreck and a coward unless someone's here with me to support me. Chastin is gone and now Aiden is too and I have nowhere left to turn but this house. This is the last place I saw Aiden and, for some reason, I feel safe here. In the hotel room I can't sleep. I feel the eyes on me there more than anywhere else. I haven't felt the eyes in months, not since I moved in with Aiden. I didn't exactly miss that burning, gnawing feeling His gaze gives me. I can feel the tentacles crawling under my skin just like they did that night when He mutilated me. I want to rip it all off. I want to tear off my skin and rid myself of the taint. But, then I remember that there is no taint, not anymore. Aiden saved me from the taint, the evil that stole Chastin.

That sort of thing is all I can think about when I'm in the hotel room, but here I feel nothing. I feel as empty as this broken husk that used to be home that I'm sitting in now. It's a nice reprieve. I know the eyes are watching me even now, but here I can ignore them. It's pitch black all around me and I see His form in the trees no matter which way I turn my head, but I don't care, not here. In the hotel room, I would cry and beg Him to leave me be and to give me back Aiden, but not here. Here I can meet His gaze with some measure of courage and sanity.

I know I'm probably sounding rather emo right now. I'm just rambling to pass the time. I'm waiting here for Aiden to come back. The people reading this may have seen the post he made a few days ago. He's starting to see through the illusion at least a little. He's beginning to notice that the things he's seeing aren't possible. I don't think he's quite come to understand that Brennon and Branwen can't be alive, but he is starting to doubt because of the sight of the parents and siblings he knows for certain passed awhile ago. I guess it must be easier for him to see through that illusion because he has fully accepted their deaths. It's too soon to hope that he might realize that Brennon and Branwen aren't real because he hasn't completely let them go. This is, of course, just speculation on my part, but it all seems very likely to me. It gives me hope that he might still break free on his own before his paradise becomes a living hell. 

I know for certain that I cannot come to Aiden's rescue. The world he's seeing was tailored specifically for him. It is made from his memories and the people he regrets losing. Even if I were to force my way into whatever labyrinth He has Aiden in, it's very unlikely that I would even see the same things Aiden does and so I wouldn't be able to even find him, much less pull him out.

So, I'm just going to keep up my vigil here. There's no point in fooling myself by telling myself that it isn't safe here and that I should get inside. Nowhere is safe from Him. It doesn't make any difference where I am, He can still find me and kill me.

If I'm going to die, it might as well be here, in this place where Aiden, and now I, lost everything.

Not that I'm planning on dying anytime soon, mind you. I'm just brooding, so don't think I've given up yet. I plan on finding Aiden again, and I'm not going to let Him get in my way.

I'm not going to be a coward any longer, just watch.

Nothing Yet

I haven't found any clues to Aiden's whereabouts yet. I've been back to the house every day since Aiden disappeared in the hopes that something, anything, might turn up, but I've found absolutely nothing. It's frustrating...I'm literally about ready to tear my hair out. I'm so worried about him...this "paradise" he's seeing can't last. This is a trap, it must be. It will eventually turn into a nightmare and Aiden might get killed if I don't get him out before that happens.

It would be great if I could at least figure out where he is. Has he been transported to some alternate reality? Is he in some secluded place in the middle of nowhere stuck in a delusion and imagining his loved ones around him? Either possibility could be correct for all I know. I have no idea who might be able to help me...I would ask Constance, but I don't think she can do much for me. I can't exactly go up to Slendy and demand he tell me what's going on. Believe me, I already tried that and all I got for my trouble was being knocked out for a few hours and waking up in the middle of the woods.

I don't know how to proceed from here...I keep going back to the house every few hours in the hope that Aiden might materialize there, but that's about the extent of my ability. I don't know if anyone has been following this post's comment thread, but I've managed to contact him there. I just need to do my best to try to talk him into believing me.

On another note, I found something disturbing on the dresser in my hotel room this morning. It was a note in Chastin's handwriting.

All it said was, "I have no mouth, and I must scream."

Yeah, I know that that's a reference to the Harlan Ellison short story of the same name.

Of course, I was not aware that Chastin had read that particular piece of literature since he hates reading. But I digress...

The more pressing matter at hand is the fact that he's here in Ohio and that he wandered into my hotel room last night while I was asleep. I'm not safe here...but I can't leave, not while Aiden is in trouble.

I don't know what to make of the message...I'll spend some time thinking about it. It'll give me something to do while I'm waiting for Aiden to reply to my last comment.

You Worry Too Much

Aiden thinks I hate him for what happened. I really don't know where he got that idea after I thanked him about a million times for saving me, but still he worries. I don't know how to make him see that my arm needed to be removed. If he hadn't had the courage to do it, I'd be gone now, I'd be a monster. Not only did he save my life by removing the arm, he kept me from killing him. How could I ever hate Aiden for sparing me from serving the thing I hate most? How could I ever blame him for doing what he did when I would have murdered him otherwise?

I don't really know how to make him see that everything is fine. I'm getting much better now. My head feels the clearest it's been in weeks. The entire upper half of my body hurts, but the pain is a small price to pay and it's nothing compared to how it was the last time I posted. It feels more like a dull ache at this point rather than that sharp, stabbing, will sapping pain it was before. But, that may, of course, just be the copious amounts of medication talking.

I try to be around Aiden as much as possible. I don't let myself stay in bed even when it becomes unbearable to be moving around. I want him to know that I don't care about what happened. I want him to see that this is nothing compared to what could have happened had he chosen not to act. I need him to know how brave his actions were and how horrible I feel that his actions were even necessary. If I had had the will to act, I could have done it myself, but I was a coward and I forced my burden on Aiden. I don't know if I can ever repay him for what he did for me...I know that what he was forced to do probably scarred him quite a bit and it's all my fault.

I suppose it's difficult for me to put any of this into words when we're face to face...every time I try to tell him any of this I freeze up. I think of how horrible the ordeal must have been for him...how awful it must have been to have to mutilate someone he cares about even though it saved both of our lives. I don't know...I just wish things would at least sort of go back to normal for awhile.

I saw Him outside last night. I wake up sometimes because the pain makes it hard to sleep and last night I finally worked up the courage to go to the window. I'd been avoiding it the past few weeks out of a fear of what I would see, but I suppose I was feeling reckless last night. I saw Him standing with His back to me. He was preoccupied by...something. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. I peered through the peep hole and was shocked to find Chastin standing outside. He looked haggard and sick, but the fear and sorrow in his eyes told me he wasn't in crazed proxy mode at that moment. I opened the door just enough to talk to him, taking care to keep the chain on so he couldn't force his way inside. Chastin remained silent for awhile, turning his head every few seconds to make sure slendy hadn't moved from his spot. It was then that I could finally see what was keeping slendy busy. It was a child. He was holding his arms out to the girl and she moved as if in a trance towards him. In a panic, I undid the chain as quickly as I could and attempted to shove Chastin aside so I could save the girl, but, since he's always been stronger than me, he was able to grab me and hold me still. I fought back as hard as I could, but the pain in my shoulder made it impossible to break free. I became dizzy and had to stop, but I couldn't take my eyes off of the sight before me. The fear in the girl's eyes as she unwillingly stepped closer and closer to the abomination before her will disturb me for years to come.

Chastin finally spoke in a harsh whisper. "Malkin, please. I need you to stop and listen to me."
"How can I?" I whispered back angrily. "That child is going to die, I have to do something and if you had even a shred of your old self inside you you would help me!"
"She's the only thing keeping Him from taking me back right now" Chastin said urgently. "I need you to listen while there's still time."
I stopped struggling again and stared at him, shocked. "You...you're the one that brought that child here? You brought her here as bait so you could...talk to me?" Suddenly, I found a new reserve of strength in me. My anger rose quickly to the surface and, in a sudden fit of rage, I threw him off of me and backed away from him. " You aren't the person I remember." I said, hurt and betrayal obvious in my voice. "How dare you sacrifice her life for your own selfish reasons." I went to the kitchen counter, took a knife, and turned back to Chastin, holding it to his throat. "Move." I commanded harshly. "Move or I'll kill you right here. I'm not going to let that girl die for you."
Chastin looked completely flabbergasted. He seemed shocked that I would ever threaten him like that, but he didn't know what I'd been though. He didn't know how that kind of thing can change a person. He didn't know the lengths I would go to to protect an innocent from Him. Chastin opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly, a tentacle whipped toward his neck, wrapped around it, and dragged him screaming backwards down the stairs. Slendy was there staring at me, Chastin on the ground at his feet with the tentacle still choking the life out of him. The girl was nowhere to be seen and I can only presume that she's gone...gone somewhere else...

I ran at Him, yelling wildly, and woke up a few hours ago in bed with fresh bruises and cuts covering my body. 

I couldn't save her...I couldn't save one child from Him. I couldn't save Chasin.

I'm a failure. I'm a coward.

I'm weak.

Rectified

I don't have a lot of time to post right now, so I'm going to give the short version of what's happened in the last week to us.

You'll have to bear with me if there are any spelling mistakes here, due to recent developments this is taking me forever to type, I'm in a lot of pain, and I don't feel like going back to fix things.

Essentially, my infected arm is gone. We cut it clean off at the shoulder. I don't remember any of this because I apparently blacked out after the circumstances that led to this amputation occurred, so everything I know has come from Aiden.

The last thing I remember is waking up to Aiden struggling next to me. It took me a few moments before I realized my fingers were crushing his windpipe. I don't remember anything after that...the next thing I knew I was in bed with my now armless left shoulder heavily bandaged.

According to Aiden, he managed to make my hand lose its grip by falling out of bed. I didn't say anything, I only stared at him with a blank expression on my face. Before he could get up, I lunged at him again, but this time he managed to pin me. My injured arm flailed violently as it attempted to break free from his grasp and find his neck once more. He tied down my arm to my body and dragged me into the kitchen. I didn't put up a fight and I didn't say a word as if I was in a trance. 

It was apparently very obvious that I was losing it and becoming like Chastin, so there was only one thing Aiden could think of to do. He found a saw, removed my bandages, tied my arm to a table leg so it wouldn't try to hurt him, and tied a length of cloth just behind where he planned to amputate to act as a tourniquet. The slender substance made the veins in my arms and just beyond my shoulder completely black and easy to see, and it was clear that it would continue spreading if he didn't act quickly. Having nothing else on hand and not wanting me to scream, he used chloroform to knock me out.

He won't tell me what happened after that, I'm assuming what he had to do disturbed him very deeply and I don't blame him. I'm in a lot of pain and I feel horrible for putting Aiden through all that, but I'm alive and that's all that matters right now.


I don't care that my arm is gone. I know I almost became a proxy that night and chopping my arm off somehow brought me back. The last vestiges of slender substance leaked out of my body yesterday and my bandages have nothing but blood on them now. 

I don't really know what happens now, but I'm hoping this doesn't enrage Slender Man. He just can't seem to win when it comes to me, can he? I've managed to avoid becoming a proxy many times in the last year thanks to Aiden. Let's hope this doesn't have disastrous consequences for the two of us...

I think that's everything I wanted to cover...I know I'm supposed to relay our encounter with Him from a week or so ago, but typing with one hand is really exhausting. My shoulder feels like it's being stabbed every time I so much as shift my weight a little and writing doesn't help.

Anyone know of anything for pain we could get without having doctors freaking out over the fact that Aiden cut my arm off?

Sorry

I know I've been awfully scare and I'm sorry for it. Things have been...hectic. Bran and company left after Casey vanished and Ai and I had a rather terrifying encounter with you-know-who the other day. Chastin was there with Him and it dredged up some painful feelings, but I'm okay now. I'll go into greater detail later, right now I'm supposed to be helping Aiden prepare for his Samhein ritual. I probably won't be participating directly, but I still want to help out where I'm needed.

Guys...my arm...tried to strangle me last night. I woke up in the middle of the night to my own fingers crushing my windpipe. It took all I had in me to rip my hand away and hold it down until it stopped fighting me (I still have no idea how it managed to get such a tight hold on me when I've only got three fingers on that hand...). I haven't told Aiden this yet, he's got too much on his mind after Bran leaving, us being attacked, and the ritual. But, this is going too far, I need to do something soon if I'm to have any hope of surviving this. I hate to ask anyone to help me...but I sure as hell know that I can't do what needs to be done on my own.

I'll tell the whole story later. My arm is getting slender substance all over my desk and I need to change the wrappings. 

Coming Back to Haunt Me

So, as you all may have gathered from my last post, my arm is full of slender substance. It's oozing out and soaking my bandages as we speak. Slender Man must have left it in there when he tore my arm up from the inside out. I don't know how to take this revelation. I think...I think that if we don't do something about it the slender substance will eventually spread to the rest of my body.

There's an almost constant, sharp pain in my arm. The pain medication prescribed to me by the doctors doesn't help at all now and we can't try to get stronger ones because, you know, my condition is rather unnatural. Every so often my arm will spasm violently and I'll have to hold it down until it stops. I'm not sure if you guys have ever seen the movie Princess Mononoke, but I feel kind of like the guy with the cursed arm from that.

The other day when the slender substance first started leaking out, Aiden burst into my room just as I finished my last post. He had been worried because I'd screamed and had begun to panic since I hadn't opened the door right away. We peeled the wrappings off, which were coated with a thick layer of slender substance, washed off my arm, and re-bandaged it. We've been doing the same thing almost every hour ever since. There isn't much else we can do, honestly. 

I'm so scared guys...I don't want to become a proxy. If I don't do something soon, the slender substance will seep into the rest of my body and I'll become just like Chastin. I can feel it working its way up past my tattered forearm. Every day it crawls bit by bit up my arm and...what...what will happen when the slender substance reaches my brain? It could take over at any second and I'd be powerless to resist.

I know what has to be done, but I can't do it. I can't go to the hospital and I could never...mutilate myself like that.

I need help. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I'm too much of a coward to do what is necessary to protect the people around me. Please...tell me what I should do...

Moving On

I know I've been scarce, but I've spent the last week or so helping Aiden and, once Bran and co. got here, helping care for them. I haven't really been certain of how to act...I didn't know Seth or Skylar like they did. I don't know Bran, Casey, and Todd like Aiden does. All I can really do is try to be cheerful and help them all not dwell on who has been lost.

But, what about me? What do I do? After reading Chastin's writings, it's clear to me that he's lost for good. I can't help him. I can't bring him back. Becoming a proxy generally means you're as good as dead unless He releases you or you find a way to fight it off. There is no hope for Chas, though. I've resigned myself to that fact.

But, this situation isn't completely bleak. I have Aiden now. I still have someone who cares for me. I have my friends here. I have people to rely on. I can't let myself despair, or He'll win. I can't let Him beat me down or I'll end up just like Chastin.

I'm ready to try to build a new life, as difficult as it is. If I have the chance to help Chas in the future, I will, but until then I need to focus on staying positive.

I haven't seen much of awgtdhyjmnhgfadsgfbnhmfsddbxfssssssssssssssssssssswalkjfHNSBAJSSSSjrjksd;lkmcjafdjvx;lkfsamnvx j;lzdgbsfdngfhm,jkjmngfrbvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkvxdlszkdhnv>xzhclk

Shit...my bad. My injured arm just went crazy all of a sudden. It's only throbbing now, but it felt like something was slithering underneath what's left of my skin there. I think I might have screamed, but my mind went blank and I'm not sure. Yep, I screamed, Aiden's knocking at the door to my room and he sounds worried.

My arm feels wet now. I think I managed to tear open the skin again somehow. I'm kind of afraid to look at it. 

There's...something leaking through a part of the dressings on my arm and through the bandages covering my finger stumps. It's...black? Oh...oh no...

Been Awhile

Hey there, internet. Sorry for the brief lack of posting. I'm fine, Aiden's fine, Brandy's fine, things are all fine here.

At least, they are on the surface. I found some...disturbing things on Chastin's computer a few days ago and I've been trying to wrap my head around it all. Essentially, it was a record of his descent into madness during the period of time between Slender Man actually getting to him and him trying to kill us last week.

As far as I can tell, he'd been desperately fighting back all that time and his mind just snapped when Slender Man broke His word and commanded him to kill me. The text he sent me after running away was likely just a brief moment of clarity. For all I know, he's probably a raving lunatic at this very moment, and that disturbs me very deeply.

I may or may not post what I've found. I need time to think about this.

On another note, it's been a nightmare trying to clean up the blood and Slender substance from the carpet. Let's agree to never have proxies over ever again if we can help it.

We just can't seem to get a break

Hi guys, sorry for the random lack of posting. I've just been...distracted lately. That and typing is horrible when I only have one good hand and the three fingers left on the other hand only move a little. I would have put this post off until Aiden could type it for me, but a lot of distressing things have happened in the last 12 hours that need to be mentioned.

If you read this, then you know some serious shit went down this morning during breakfast. Chastin and I were sitting in the living room watching TV. I was spacing out. There were a lot of things I wanted to say to him...I wanted to tell him that I was afraid for him. I wanted to tell him about the suspicions Ai and I had been having.

Suddenly, Chastin started shivering and twitching. He doubled over with his head in his hands and his shaking became increasingly more violent. He fell to the floor and black ooze began dripping out of his nose and ears. I screamed, Brandy mentioned that. What she didn't say was that Chastin started shouting at nothing. I bent over him and tried to sit him up, but he pushed me away violently, yelling at me to stay away from him. Most of his words after that were incoherent.

Aiden rushed into the room, a terrified Brandy at his heels. Chastin was beginning to calm down at that point, but Aiden caught me as I tried to go to help him and held me back, glaring. Chastin struggled to his knees, pain still distorting his face, stared pointedly above our heads, and cried out words that I know will disturb me for a very long time...

"Bastard, you swore to me you would spare him! You gave me your word! You can't make me kill him, I'll die fighting you if I have to!" He doubled over again, ooze pouring down the sides of his head and down his mouth and chin, and began letting out choked, wheezing coughs. I felt a tentacle wrap itself around my neck. Before any of us could react, I was thrown against the wall on the other side of where Chastin was kneeling. Aiden cried out and attempted to run to my side, but Slender Man disappeared from behind him and rematerialized between him and Chastin, blocking his path. I crawled to Chastin, hoping that he had managed to fight off Slender Man's influence. He snarled at me when I touched him on his shoulder and knocked me onto my back, pulling a knife from his belt and holding it to my throat. His eyes were crazed and he stank of rotten flesh and blood.

"Chastin, please..." I begged, giving him an imploring look. "Don't you remember who I am?" His face became troubled and his hand holding the knife began shaking. His head twitched and a vein throbbed in his forehead. He clenched his hands and grimaced at the effort he was making to regain control. It seemed like he was going to win. I had hope in those few moments that everything would be alright, but these hopes were dashed almost immediately. Chastin's body relaxed, his shoulders slumping and his head falling forward. He let out a low, guttural laugh and pressed the knife back into my skin. With his other hand, he ripped off the bandages covering my injured arm and dug his nails into the ruined flesh, causing me to cry out in agony.

This must have been what set Aiden off. I heard a wild, raw yell from across the room and heard a muted thump that was followed by another cry of pain. Aiden had stabbed Slender Man in the shoulder and had somehow gotten hurt in the process. Chastin was off of me and on him almost instantly, snarling cruelly and ready to kill in retribution for the attack on his master. He slashed Aiden across the chest with his knife but, before he could strike a killing blow, I mustered up all the strength I had left in me and tackled him, punching him hard in the face and breaking his nose.

Chastin howled in pain, holding his nose as blood and Slender substance poured out of it. He pushed me off of him with his other arm, struggled to his feet, and dashed out the door.

Slender Man merely watching him go, tilted his head, and then vanished. 

I drove Aiden to the hospital. The stab wound in his shoulder wasn't too deep and neither was the cut on his chest, so they're only keeping him overnight. As for me, they re-did the bandages on my arm and sent me home once visiting hours were over.

The last thing I heard from Chastin was a text message from him apologizing for losing his head. He told me not to worry about him. He told me that he couldn't fight off Slender Man's influence any longer and that, if I get the chance, he wants me to kill him so he won't hurt me or anyone else. He told me he'd known about how I feel for Aiden for awhile and that I shouldn't let myself dwell on what happened or blame myself.

I'm sorry Ai...you were right that whole time and I didn't want to listen. I wanted to believe that, even if he were a proxy, he could fight it off. I was wrong, and it almost killed us. I hope you can forgive me...I didn't even have the courage to say this to your face when I was with you in the hospital because I felt so bad...

Chastin saved my life and I couldn't do a thing to help him in his hour of need. I don't know what to do...I just...need to come to terms with what's happened. I wish Aiden were here...I really need a shoulder to cry on right now.

That and I don't know what to do about poor Brandy...she's absolutely terrified and I'm no help right now, what with me drowning in misery and guilt.

Things are going to be difficult in the coming months. Chastin won't have a choice but to keep trying to hurt us. He's going to slip even further into madness as time passes and I won't be able to save him. 

There were other things I wanted to say, but they aren't important right now. I need to do something that will make both myself and Brandy feel better.

Aiden, I can't wait until you're home. Chastin, if you read this, please hold on for as long as you can...

Catastrophe

It happened Saturday in the evening. I mentioned awhile ago that I've had this constant paranoia ever since we got here. Well, it was at its worst that day. I didn't want to be alone, but Chastin had to go to work and Aiden was busy taking care of KK. So, I made Chastin promise that he would wait at his work for me to get there so he wouldn't be walking alone at night and, thankfully, he listened to me. (Looking back, I can't decide whether it was a good thing I insisted I be with him or if everything would have been fine if I'd just ignored my paranoia and stayed in our hotel...)

It was dark by the time we finally started on our way back. I felt slightly more reassured that I would be safe while Chas was there, but I couldn't shake the niggling feeling that we were being followed. I turned around to check that no one was behind us every couple minutes and I was constantly on the look out for that ominous tall, pale shape in every alleyway we passed. Chas started to get annoyed by it and caught my arm as I turned back to check behind us for the umpteenth time. He looked at me sternly and told me that I needed to stop thinking about it, or something really would happen to us. He scolded me, saying that I know the rules for surviving better than he does and yet I was breaking them all and putting us in danger anyway by thinking about Him. It upset me that he wasn't taking my concerns seriously, but looking back I know now that he was right.

My only response was to glare at him angrily and wrench my arm away. I was about to step forward, when suddenly I felt someone grab me from behind and winced as the biting blade of a knife dug itself slightly into my throat. It was a guy, and the mask he was wearing dug into my shoulder. I knew instantly it was a proxy. I knew what was coming next. Slender Man appeared behind Chastin, who was too focused on finding a way to save me to notice. I tried to scream at him to run, but the proxy shoved a cloth into my mouth, cutting off my words. Chas must have realized what I was trying to tell him, because he turned around to face that evil, faceless ghoul. Before he could do anything, Slender Man sent a tentacle whipping towards him, hitting him in the stomach and sending him crashing against the building a few feet away. I could only watch helplessly as he calmly walked over to Chastin, wrapped his fingers around his throat, picked him up, and slammed him forcefully against the wall one more time.

I thought it was over. I thought Slender Man was going to kill him before my eyes and then kill me, but, to my great surprise, Slender Man dropped Chastin. He turned his pale head towards us and the proxy released me after a moment. At another wordless command from Slender Man, the proxy, along with another that came out of the alley next to the building, took hold of Chastin's arms and hoisted him to his feet. He was clearly on the verge of passing out, so the proxy that had held me slapped him hard across the face, forcing him back to his senses.

I was frozen on the spot. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't run, I couldn't leave Chastin there to die. But, I couldn't fend off our attackers either. All I could do was stay where I was, watching in horror and waiting for my turn. 

The proxies continued to beat up Chastin while Slender Man watched with a sick, sadistic glee radiating off of him. Finally, Slender Man commanded them to stop. Chastin was bloody and bruised, but lucid. He'd managed to break free a few times and land a couple very painful looking blows on the proxies, but eventually they subdued him by slashing him on his chest and arms with the knife. He was still struggling, but much more weakly than he had been due to his injuries.

Slender Man turned to face me. I was angry and upset, so I rushed at him blindly and attempted to jump on him so I could get at his head. He caught me by the arm and threw me into one of the alley walls, taking care to ensure that Chastin would be able to see what he was going to do to me. I looked up at him, terrified out of my mind, and was greeted by that sickening smile. He wrapped his fingers around my throat, pinning me, and wrapped a tentacle around my pinky and ring fingers on my left hand. I heard a loud crunch and felt the skin tearing as white hot pain coursed through my body and blanked out my mind. When I finally came back to my senses, I realized I was screaming. It was a raw, primal scream. It didn't even begin to convey the agony I felt. Slender Man wasn't finished yet. He wrapped the same bloody tentacle around my forearm and wrenched it, ruining any healing the bone had already done and snapping it again a little higher above the original break. The tentacle burst into countless tiny tendrils, each of which coursed its way under my skin and into the muscle, tearing up everything they came into contact with.

I could hear myself screaming and crying. I could hear Chastin sobbing and yelling. None of it mattered. Every fiber of my being was focused on the pain and, eventually, I'm assuming it became too much. I passed out and woke up in the hospital with Chastin asleep in the chair next to me.

Chastin won't tell me how we escaped or why Slender Man let us go. All he said is that our injuries have been blamed on the proxies and that they've been apprehended.

I suppose I should have mentioned the fact that I was hospitalized in my last post, but I didn't want to upset Aiden after all he'd been dealing with at that point.

They released me this morning mostly because Chastin and I both insisted that we couldn't stay there. My arm is far from better and it won't be for a long time. Apparently, I'm extremely lucky they don't have to amputate it at my elbow since the tissue was so destroyed.

I'm really worried about what may have happened while I was passed out. Why did Slender Man spare us? Did he do something to Chastin? I don't know what to think...I hope things get better for us once we're with Aiden, but I'm worried that our presence will make Aiden a target too.

I don't know...I'm totally at a loss right now. We almost died and now I'm starting to suspect Slender Man finally got to Chas while I was out. I can't begin to think like this now...this is probably exactly what Slender Man wants. He probably knew I'd leap to the conclusion that he'd taken Chas to sow seeds of doubt in my heart and to drive me away from my allies. Not only does that leave me vulnerable but, if I'm wrong, it means Chastin will die. (Chas went to bed so I typed those last few paragraphs myself, by the way.)

Aiden...we'll be there soon. We both need some sort of comfort in these troubled times.

Betrayal

All I can really say is that I didn't see this coming. Derek was a proxy? KK murdering him and declaring that all other proxies she encountered would get the same? She and I talked once awhile ago and she told me she would strive for revenge against Slender Man and his servants should the worst happen, then it did and she told me she'd given up. I don't understand it...

I'm not sure what happens now. I want to be there for Aiden now that he's alone again. If he does go back to being with us, though, what will we do then? He sounded like he wanted to stay here in his post. Mind you, there really isn't anything better for us to do anyway...I suppose I had hoped we might try to find KK and put an end to this, but she'd definitely kill us if we found her.

The only problem with the whole staying here thing is that the longer we're here, the more likely it is that Slender Man will murder us. As I hinted at earlier, Chastin and I had a horrible encounter with him over the weekend. My left arm (the one that had been broken but was healing) is pretty much a bloody mess. I'm missing two fingers and the skin all over my arm is in tatters. It kind of looks like I was caught in an explosion, or at least it did before we went to the hospital Saturday night. My arm is now covered in heavy bandages and in a sling since the bone went back to being snapped in half. I've had to have Chastin type all this out for me. It's time I recount what happened to us, but I need to do it in another post since it'll be a long one. I'll have that up tonight too, I promise.

For now, Aiden, we're going to need to come to where you are. I'll call you. I hope you won't be too shocked at how messed up we are...

Interesting

Hi everyone. I'm sorry, I meant to post over the weekend, but I messed up my arm again and now I can barely type. It's a long story and it involves some Slender Man action, so I promise to get to it soon. I mostly wanted to post right now so everyone knows that we're, you know, not dead. However, I was just on YouTube and I came across something rather disturbing...

No doubt everyone remembers Reach. I mean, how could you not? Well, you may also recall that his cousin, Derek, is now trying to find out what happened to him and is documenting it on YouTube. You should watch this...I wouldn't be linking to this if it weren't important to me. I noticed that hardly anyone follows what he's been doing and I feel like the current situation is definitely worth keeping an eye on. You can probably guess who he finally ran into from the way I'm talking about it...

I'm sorry if this is a worthless post. I've just been following him from the beginning and, as someone who shares his predicament, I'm concerned.

I think I just like typing this stuff out to calm myself down, so you'll have to forgive me. 

Ai, I'd like to hang out again soon, but I know you need to look after KK so I can understand if you won't be able to see us anytime soon. I just...think Chas and I could both use some cheering up right now, especially after what happened to me a couple days ago and after seeing that video today.

A Meeting

 Hey everyone. You may or may not know that KK and I arranged a meeting. We met up today at the Rose Garden around three this afternoon. We chose that place because, for one, it's a pretty big landmark and I could find it easily, and for another, it was a public place, which helps keep Slender Man from showing up. Well, that and KK doesn't trust me (which is understandable since we'd never met before). I had wanted to figure out what she wanted to do regarding Aiden staying with her and on top of that I had been concerned about her from Derek's post. I certainly learned a lot...anyway, here's what we said:

Me: It's good to finally meet you in person.

KK: (She didn’t look away from the glass wall she was staring through; one hand was idly fingering the baton tucked into her wheelchair.) Same here, I guess.

Me: Thanks for looking after Aiden...you definitely saved his life.

KK: Should've killed him. The dumbass had the nerve to show up at my place after I warned him not to.

Me: He was pretty desperate. He is lucky you didn't kill him, though. I'm glad I didn't try and look for him, at least.

KK: Why's that?

Me: I wouldn't want to show up at your place unannounced. I figured me being there at all would be a burden on you.

KK: The only burden would be figuring out where to hide your body until the rats ate away all identifying features. (She still wasn’t looking at me.)

Me: Why didn't you kill Aiden when he showed up? What stopped you?

KK: (She glanced at me for a moment, glaring, the Glasgow Smile and shaved head giving her a VERY scary look.) He WANTED to die. Why would I give him what he wanted? (She looked out the window again, eyes going slightly blank.)

Me: But you're taking care of him now, I'm surprised you haven't thrown him out now that he's done being suicidal.

KK: ....... (quietly) It's nice to have someone else around. That apartment doesn't feel right with less than three people in it. (same quiet tone) Did you ever wonder WHY he comes after us, Malkin? I mean, aside from the obvious answers. I really believe that He is only seen by people He has already decided to prey upon. But why us? What makes people like us so attractive to him? Maybe we aren't supposed to fight him.

Me: I do, but I don't think we'll ever understand. He's an enigma to me. I know there's no escape, at least...

KK: Of course not. But we try anyway. More proof that humans are morons.

Me: It's survival instinct, I suppose. I don't want to die and I don't want to lose Chastin. So, I feel the need to keep fighting to the end.

KK: The end might be closer than you think, Malkin. He's watching us right now. His eyes are everywhere, y'know that? We're being watched right now. Dozens of eyes all around us, all invisible.

Me: I know. He's something beyond our comprehension. He has abilities we can't fight or even understand. Maybe it is just the paranoia, but I feel him watching me every waking moment. It seems so strange that he has the power to observe and stalk every Runner the way he does.

KK: (still flat and quiet) Run run run, as fast as you can. He'll still catch you, he's the Ebony Man. We're all fucked.

Me: As painful as it is to think about, you're right. I like to think there might be a way out, but there isn't one that I can see except maybe memory loss.

KK: Doesn't work. Didn't work for Cancer Kid. Probably won't work for anyone else. (She spun her wheelchair neatly in place, then rolled toward the nearest exit.)

Me: (I followed her.) Where are you going?

KK: (flat) I'm hungry. I'm going to get something to eat.

Me: Can I tag along? I was hoping we could work something out regarding Aiden.

KK: You're already following me. I can't stop you if you keep doing it. (She was outdoors already, rolling through a light rain toward a nearby pizza place.)

Me: So, what are your plans from here on out?

KK: I don't have any. Plans are for people who know what the fuck is going on in their lives.

Me: Are you going to take revenge?

KK: On who? For what? If you're gonna ask a question, be specific. (We entered the pizza place and she ordered a sausage-and-black-olive pizza and a basket of cheesy breadsticks.)

Me: On Andromeda, specifically.

KK: I don't have a snowball's chance in hell of tracking her down. If she comes anywhere near me, I'll blow her brains out, but that's the most I have planned. That's the most I can do.

Me: She probably knows better than to come here anyway. What about Slender Man? Are you going to run or stay and try to outlast him for as long as you can?

KK: (She glared at me, her voice was still quiet but angry and sarcastic.) Yeah, Malkin, I'm gonna RUN. Me and my non-working legs are gonna hightail it out of here. Don't be a dumbass.

Me: You know what I meant. Leave this place, move around like a lot of us have been doing. Maybe not now, but later on.

KK: (back to flat and quiet) No. I'm staying put. If He comes after me, running wouldn't do me any good anyway, so I may as well stay where I'm comfortable.

Me: You aren't...thinking of giving in...are you?

KK: What's it matter to you?

Me: Mostly just friendly concern. I know we don't know each other well, but I still wouldn't want to see you die or become a proxy.

KK: Bullshit. Nobody does anything for "friendly concern". People are self-serving, predatory 

bastards, and at the root of ALL action is self-interest. So what interest do YOU have in keeping ME alive?

Me: The way I see it, all those of us being hunted by Slender Man have is each other. Perhaps that's cheesy, and I'm sure you'll tell me it sounds like bullshit, but I honestly don't want you or any of the others I know to die. It's why I followed Aiden here even though involvement with him could mean more trouble for Chas and I in the future.

KK: (She began eating a slice of her pizza.) I'm not gonna be your security blanket. If you wanna be a whiny bitch, find someone else to seek sympathy from.

Me: I don't want sympathy. I wanted to know if I could help you in any way in return for helping Aiden. I'm sure you don't want it, but I'm offering all the same.

KK: You're right. I don't want it. I don't NEED it. The eyes are always watching, Mal. They'll come for me someday. You'd do well to be FAR away when that happens.

Me: How much longer do you think you've got until he decides to come for you?

KK: What HE? The eyes don't belong to Him. He doesn't need eyes to see. He is the one eyed man in the kingdom of the blind. We're all blind, Mal, blinder than we know.

Me: You're right that we're blind. We're only human. We're conceited and greedy creatures and we don't have the power to understand the truths in this universe. It's why we have no defense against him, I suppose. But, if the eyes don't belong to him, then to whom or what do they belong?

KK: To me. And when they open, you'll all pay. (She said this in a perfectly normal tone of voice, if slightly quieter than what I expected given her personality.)

Me: All of us?

KK: All of you. Everyone on Earth. Maybe I'll kill myself before I get to that point, though.

Me: Why the whole world? What do you have against us? I can understand wanting to rain hell on Slender Man and his servants, but why the rest of the world?

KK: Doesn't matter, really. And quit trying to act like a therapist. You suck ass at it.

Me: I know. I'm mostly just trying to understand your motivations. I wanted to know where you'd go from here.

KK: Sorry. You won't find out, because I don't know myself. Plans are irrelevant anyway. Even the most well-thought-out plan dies upon use. So why bother?

Me: It seems like planning gives one purpose, at least.

KK: Purpose is purposeless. (She said this dryly and was possibly making a joke.)

Me: It would keep you from thinking too much about the inevitable death that waits in the near future. It does for me, at least. Of course, I have no clue what to do now either...

KK: There's one huge flaw in your reasoning, Malkin. (She seemed actually ENGAGED for the first time in our entire conversation at this point.)

Me: What's that?

KK: You're assuming I WANT to go on living. What if all I want is to die, and take as much of the world with me as possible?

Me: What about your husband? You won't keep on living for him? I know I can't even imagine the pain you've been through, but at least you still have him.

KK: I'm going to die on him anyway. What's it matter when it happens?

Me: The last time we spoke like this, you acted like you would strive to stay alive even if the worst happened. I suppose a lot has happened to change your way of thinking since then, though.

KK: Quit trying to "understand" me, Malkin. It makes you sound like a condescending dick. I do what I do for my own reasons, or no reasons at all, or just for the fucking fun of it. Whichever it is, it's none of your fucking business.

Me: I'm sorry; I don't mean to offend you. Like I said before, I don't want you to die. I know you don't want me to interfere, and I won't try.

KK: You're still trying by saying that. You're still trying to be "understanding" and "nice". Either say what you're REALLY thinking or get out of my fucking life.

Me: You think that my concern for you is a lie? I'm not trying to be fake in what I'm telling you. I think giving up only plays into Slender Man's hands and that we shouldn't give him the satisfaction. I know you want to die, and if I could help you keep fighting, I would, but it isn't my place and you've made that clear.

KK: No shit. Now, you said something about some "arrangement" to do with Aiden.

Me: I just wanted to know if he ever plans on leaving and to let us know when he does. I heard Bran is coming here, so I'll probably meet up with her. For now, I'm glad he's in good hands. Again, thanks for looking after him.

KK: You'd have to ask him about his plans. I'm not his fucking warden. He's free to leave whenever.

Me: Could you ask him if he'll meet me...here I guess sometime in the next day or so? I'd leave him a comment or email asking him, but I don't know if he'll see it in time.

KK: Again, ask him yourself. (She tossed the remaining 3/4 of the pizza and cheesy breadsticks into the pizza box, set it on her lap, and headed for the door.)

Me: Thanks for meeting me here. (I called over to her as she left.) I'm sorry for the trouble.

KK: (Her only response was to flip me the bird as she headed back out into the rain.)

I realize now that I probably sounded kind of formal...I tend to do that when I'm talking to people I don't know for some reason. As for me saying I wanted to help and all, it was partly prompted from seeing the extent of what Andromeda had done to her. I know she doesn't want my sympathy (she made that clear) and I hope I didn't offend her in any way, but I am grateful to her for helping my friend. I'm glad I got this chance to speak to her in the very least. 

Aiden, as you will notice from this conversation, I need to tell you that we should meet up soon to talk about what we're going to do.

So yeah, that was my day. At least it was relatively free of Slendy. I did see him on the way back from the Rose Garden, but he didn't follow me. 

I'm honestly not sure what this means for us right now. I wish I had a plan, but I'm at a loss for what to do.

The air feels heavy, like it's forcing me down. I'm more aware than ever of that niggling feeling of being watched.

It feels like something terrible is going to happen soon.

Waiting for Aiden

We don't really have a lot to do with ourselves right now. Chas found a job, so we won't starve, in the very least. We have to keep moving hotels every night or else we receive unpleasant nighttime visits from various intruders. A few nights ago it was Slendy standing in the corner and a couple nights before that it was several proxies breaking into our room and attempting to murder us. 

We're pretty much at a loss for what to do right now. We don't go out after dark and we always stick together. My parents live down in Salem, which is only an hour away from here, so we decided it would be best to take our cats to live with them for awhile.

Until Ai is able to come back to us, we don't really have many allies at this point. I was kind of hoping we would run into Bran, but I'm not sure that will be possible at this point. I don't want to burden KK with us being around, so I think it's best we remain on our own for now.

He's in the street staring at our window right now. I can feel his gaze even through the curtains. It feels as though insects are crawling all over me and I can feel him trying to speak to me. If he doesn't stop, I'm probably going to pass out. We're debating on whether or not we should change hotels, but going outside seems like a bad idea right now.

I can't pass out...I can't leave Chastin alone. If I do, I know Slendy will try and kill him. Slendy's wanted Chastin all along. He's been at this for years and hasn't succeeded. Every time he's tried something's gotten in his way. Now, however, there's nothing that can stop him. I can't protect Chas...

I know it's probably bad to think this...but I'm kind of unhappy that the illusion was dispelled now. At least when it was still in place we had something that kept Slendy from murdering us. Ah well, I don't want to seem ungrateful to KK for snapping Aiden out of it. I'm mostly just musing to take my mind off of the pain. I suppose I could just let him talk to me, but I don't really want to take chances anymore.

Ai...I know you and KK are deciding what to do. Please hurry...

He's now standing in the hallway outside our room. I can see him through the peep hole thing. He's smiling.

Fuck

I feel horrible. I feel like my entire body is about to fall apart. If you read Ai's recent post, you'll know that the Hatchling thing was all an illusion. Slender Man was just fucking with Ai's head the whole time and it spread to everyone he was in contact with. I was never a Revenant...the injuries I sustained that I thought healed are all still here and a few of them, like the broken arm and the wounds I got in my shoulder when Ai threw the large glass object at me a week or so ago, are even worse than they were when I got them because I unknowingly left them untreated.

The only explanation I can come up with for the doctors at the hospital only noticing my burns is that the illusion somehow spread to them as well. God...Slender Man's power is greater than I ever imagined. If he can create an illusion as complete and flawless as the one he cast on us, then there's no comprehending what else he must be capable of. I guess that is his specialty, though. He worms his way into your thoughts and rips you apart from the inside out, laughing while he does it. I'm in shock right now...I guess I'm finally coming to terms with my mortality.

I think the only reason KK didn't get infected by the illusion is because it was already so close to wearing off at that point. Slender Man is done fucking with us. That's part of what he meant when he showed up in our hotel room that night. He's not going to play games and promise fake truces anymore.

So yeah, I'm in absolutely no shape to be going anywhere. We're in Portland right now and Chas and I are going to the hospital soon to get my broken arm, broken nose, and the now infected cuts made by the glass in my shoulder patched up. I'm pretty much a walking disaster right now, but I'm not complaining. I could be a lot worse and I'm extremely happy the illusion broke when it did.

You know...Ai, myself, Chastin, and Brennon were all essentially slenderproxies. We were completely under his control and had no idea the entire time. There's no other explanation for it...it's the only way Ai and I would have been able to enter the Path. We were Sleepers. We were puppets on his strings. I guess Slendy got what he wanted from Chas and I, even if it was only for a short time. He isn't finished with us yet though...that much is certain.

We'll be here in Portland waiting for you, Ai. I promise Chas doesn't want to kill you. I explained everything to him and he understands that none of this was your fault. We'll do our best not to die in the mean time.

Problems have arisen

So...Aiden's at KK's apartment...I'm happy he's safe, but this presents the problem that I have no idea where the hell KK lives. I suppose it's probably better that I lay low for awhile. I'm pretty sure KK doesn't want me there anyway, even if it's to help Ai. I can only hope he'll actually bother to read this at some point so he'll know that I'm here looking for him.

We're somewhere in Colorado right now and still driving. I know it's late, but we found out the hard way that we can't stop for too long anymore.

You see, a few hours after I posted about our ordeals yesterday, we stopped at a hotel to rest. I figured we'd be okay for the time being. I mean, Slendy showed up in my apartment every day for a few weeks and I survived the encounter. He drove Chastin crazy that same week and he's perfectly fine now. Besides, we're Runners at the moment. I figured it would be alright to stop at least once, especially since we were in a different state. Hell, I thought he'd try and murder us in our hospital beds, but he never did.

You can probably see where I'm going with this. It was about 2am, if I remember correctly. I woke up because Chastin elbowed me in the nose (by the way, the pain from said elbowing to the nose was excruciating, which is odd since my nose healed after Ai broke it...). Everything seemed normal. The cats were asleep on Chas' chest and I didn't feel anything strange. I got up and went to get aspirin for the headache being elbowed in the nose gave me. Again, everything seemed perfectly fine.

As I was walking back to the bed, I began to feel a prickling in my toes that quickly shot its way up to the top of my head, causing my hair to stand on end and making me shiver. I began to get a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I expected to see Slendy being his creepy self in the corner or something, but he wasn't there. I peeked out the window, but he wasn't standing out there either. I got back in bed, but lay awake for another half an hour or so. I couldn't shake the feeling I had. I wanted to wake Chastin up and leave that very moment. I couldn't take being in the room...it was almost painful.

After about fifteen minutes, I began shaking. I could feel the burning eyes. The eyes that pick me apart from the inside out and leave me a broken husk of a man. They bored into the back of my skull, but every time I turned over I found nothing but blank wall. Eventually, I woke Chastin up and told him what was wrong.

"Calm down." He said. "Here, hold my hand and don't look away from me, you'll feel better."

I stared at him like that for another fifteen minutes and, eventually, the bad feeling went away. The last thing I remembered was staring at his nose and thinking that it was really big (you may recall that making myself laugh during frightening situations is the only way to make myself feel better).

I woke up again later feeling a cold hand on my arm. I remained perfectly still and tried not to scream. I kept my eyes fixed on Chastin and tried to tell myself it was only his hand, knowing all the while what was behind me. Slowly, I reached over to Chastin and touched his shoulder. When he didn't respond, I shook him gently and gradually became more and more violent. Chas opened his eyes and looked at me blearily for a moment before his eyes widened when he saw what was behind me. I silenced him with an imploring look, hoping that maybe the monster behind me would go away (in retrospect, it was kind of childish, but I was terrified out of my mind so you should give me a break). The cats had moved to the end of the bed since I'd fallen asleep, and, suddenly, they both woke up and began hissing violently before running to hide under one of the dressers.

I couldn't ignore it any longer. I wrenched my arm away from the hand that was holding it and turned around.  Slendy was looking down at me, obviously. Thinking back on it, that was probably the most terrifying I have ever seen him. He radiated a dark aura of sickening, sadistic glee. It took me a moment, but I realized that he was smiling. Remember when he bit the head off of that proxy? I wouldn't call what he has a mouth exactly. It's more like a split in his head a few inches above his chin. He does indeed have teeth. Sharp teeth. His "smile" stretched from where his ears would be and is probably the most horrific thing I have ever seen, and I've seen a lot of freaky shit.

I should also point out that I've never felt more helpless in my life. I don't have my badass Revenant powers anymore. I can't even hope to fend him off...I can't protect Chastin and I can't even keep myself alive. All I could think about that night was that he could kill me at any moment. He stood over us like that for a long time and after awhile I felt that same excruciating pain that occurs whenever he tries to talk to me. I didn't let him in and, eventually, I'm assuming I passed out from the pain. I woke up the next morning with Chastin asleep next to me and the cats taking up all the foot space.

Chastin doesn't remember what happened. At first, I thought I might have imagined it all, but now I'm certain that I didn't. Slendy was trying to send a message. There's nothing stopping him from killing us now. The only reason he didn't last night is because he loves wallowing in our fear and helplessness.

So, Chas and I are living on borrowed time. Great. I tried to tell Chastin about what happened and, thankfully, he believes me. We won't be stopping again until we get there. It's just too dangerous at this point...

I don't know how finding Ai will help us at this point, but I still want to make sure my friend is safe. We'll manage somehow...

Well, I hope we don't die. Wish us luck on that...

It's been rough

Hey guys. Sorry it's been so long. Chas and I have been through a lot these past few days since I last posted and since, you know, Ai tried to kill us.

That night when I woke up after Ai's emotions knocked me out, I didn't realize it at first, but what had woken me up was actually the fire alarm and I could smell smoke coming up from downstairs. Chas and I went to the top of the stairs and found that half of the downstairs was on fire. Suddenly, a burning shape darted up the stairs and collapsed at our feet. Chas grabbed the fire extinguisher from the bathroom and put out whatever it was. Now, you may recall me telling Ai that I'm going to hurt him in very painful ways for what he did to Raven, Taben's cat. This is why. When the fire was out, I realized that the shape was a cat. It mewled at me weakly and then died in my hands. You see, I'm a huge animal lover. Seeing any animal in pain pretty much drives me over the edge and you can only imagine how this made me feel. Chas had to drag me off the floor and force me to move because I'd gone into some sort of shocked and sorrowful stupor.

Our cats, Steve and Bear, had been asleep on our bed and, thankfully, we'd thought to close the door after ourselves when we went out to see what was happening, or else they probably would have ended up like Raven (which would have been too much for me to handle, honestly). We couldn't escape through the downstairs, as the fire was already spreading up the stairs, so the only option open to us was to jump out a window. I grabbed our blanket and wrapped up our cats in it so we could carry them both more easily while Chas went to the other windows in the other rooms to see if there were any safer places to jump from. I heard a cry and a few moments later Chas came back in with burns on his hands, his arm, and his cheek. We ran into Allen's room, which faced the front of the house and had the roof over the porch beneath it that we could use to get down. The smoke was overwhelming at that point. It burned my eyes and throat and I felt like I was going to collapse. I could hear my cats meowing in confusion and fear from inside the blanket and that and Chas's yelling were really the only things that kept me going. Chas used a chair to break the window and I had him climb out first since he was already injured. I handed him the bundle with our frightened cats in it and then he helped me out. The fire was spreading quickly and was already entering the room behind me. Chas managed to climb down to the ground and had me throw our cats to him. Thinking I would be alright, I jumped down from the roof we'd been on since it wasn't that far from the ground.

It was at this point that I realized that I wasn't a Revenant anymore. I had fractured my ankle from jumping and I had minor burns on my arms and hands. I sat waiting for them to heal, but they never did. I was shocked and confused. I could still feel my connection to Aiden, but it hit me that he must have taken away my powers when he left. I realized that the smoke would have probably debilitated me had I still had my hypersensitivity and that I would have noticed the fire the moment it gave off smoke had I still had my heightened senses. Slowly, it all made sense and I began to feel more helpless than ever.

Chas left for a few moments and came back with our cats' carriers that we'd been keeping in my car (I'd had it sent here awhile ago). Steve and Bear were still frightened, but it made me feel much better knowing that we'd all survived. Chas called the Fire Department and they and the police arrived within 15 minutes. After an hour, they'd gotten the fire put out (it had only spread to a few of the trees, so thankfully we avoided a major forest fire) and told us that they had determined it to be arson. The police questioned us, and we told them we woke up to the blaze. Before they had arrived, Chas and I had discussed what story we would give them. He had been all for telling them that Aiden had started it, but I convinced him to lie with me. I know Ai didn't do this out of any kind of hate for us. I know he didn't mean to kill us and I still consider him my good friend. So, when the cops asked where Ai was, I told them he was visiting a friend in Portland and that we had been planning on meeting him there in a few days. Since there have been so many hate crimes against homosexuals in that area in the past, the police decided that the fire must have been a hate crime also. They told us they'd look into it and then we were taken to the hospital. My injuries were so minor that they released me after an overnight stay. Chas' burns were only slightly worse, however, they kept him for two days out of concern for the huge tentacle shaped scar that ran down his arm that slendy had given him months earlier. It still looks blistered and painful, but all they really did in the end was wrap it up in a bandage.

Chas and I are driving to Portland after Aiden now. We managed to rescue our laptops, wallets, phones, and my car keys before we jumped out (I forgot to mention that) because they were all in our room. The cats are in the back and seem to think we're on an extremely long car ride to the vet because they're both weirding out. Anyway, I just thought I'd let you guys know what's up and that we'll be there in a day or so. My connection with Ai still holds and hopefully that won't break before we get there so I can find him.

The only real concern I have right now is Slender Man. We're both vulnerable now. I can't chase him off and hope to survive the encounter like I used to be able to. If he decides to kill us now, there won't be anything we can do about it and Aiden really will be on his own.

 Well, we're pretty much doing what normal runners do right now, so maybe we'll be able to avoid him for awhile.

Oh...I just realized my college will be starting up again in late September. Wow, I need to get all these problems that have popped up worked out quickly if I want to avoid becoming a fifth year senior. That would suck.

I'll get back to you guys when something interesting happens.

An Update on Ai's Condition

I meant to do this a few hours ago, but things got slightly out of hand. I had made dinner and I brought it up to Ai's room. Ever since Ai first holed himself up in his room, I'd been leaving him breakfast, lunch, and dinner outside his door. Every time I came back to bring the next meal, I would find the last one untouched. Today, however, I decided he needed to eat and that I couldn't keep avoiding him. I knocked, waited a minute or so, and then cautiously opened the door when there was no answer.

"Ai?" I asked uncertainly. Before I could react, a single tentacle came zooming at me and knocked the tray of food out of my hands. "Really?" I said, staring at him angrily. "You need to eat sometime. It'll make you feel better."
"Don't come near me." He said shakily.
 "Oh, now you want me to stay away? I'm here to help you, Ai. If I leave you to your own devices you could hurt yourself or try and hurt someone else."
"You saw what happened earlier. You saw what I did to you...you're right...my grief is turning me into an animal just like it did to Taben."
"I told you it was fine, Ai." I shook my head. "I can take the punishment. You don't have to worry about hurting me. It's much better than harming some innocent bystander or one of our human and therefore more fragile friends."
"I'm sorry, Malkin...I just...I miss him so much. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this. I feel..."
"I know how you feel." I said, interrupting him. "That's why I won't hate you for any hurt you might inflict upon me. Look, I just came to see how you were doing. If you need anything, just let me know. I'll be downstairs with Chas." The mere mention of Chas' name seemed to send him back into his rage, as he threw a very large and painful looking glass object at my head that I only barely managed to dodge. It hit part of my shoulder and shattered against the wall, leaving glass shards peppering part of my arm and blood oozing down to the floor.
"DON'T SPEAK OF HIM AROUND ME." He bellowed. "YOU CAN'T PROTECT HIM FOREVER AND WHEN YOU'VE FINALLY LOST HIM YOU'LL..." He stopped and appeared dazed for a few moments.
"I'm willing to talk whenever you want, Ai. I'll come back when you've calmed down." I turned to leave the room.
"Wait." He said quietly.
"Yes?" I turned back to face him and met his gaze.
"Why are you so calm? Why aren't you retaliating? I'm hurting you. The wounds I've inflicted on you today must have been excruciating. Why are you just...taking it?" He asked, confused.
"This is the only way to keep you sane and to get you to calm down. Retaliation only means we'll get into an unnecessary fight. The last thing we need right now is to fight amongst ourselves. I know it bothers you, but this is to protect both Chas and your humanity. I won't let you become a murderer and I especially don't want to become your enemy if you kill Chas. I just want to help you recover, as your good friend."

With that, I left the room, shutting the door behind me. As soon as I did, objects that I can only assume were tentacles assaulted the place I had been standing and hit the door. I'm surprised the door didn't break from the force of it. The emotion that came with it down our mental link caught me off guard and knocked me out for a little while. I woke up a few minutes ago in bed with Chas asleep next to me.

So far, things are going from bad to worse all in one day. But, this is only the beginning of what will be a very long recovery process for Ai, if he recovers at all. I can only hope Taben doesn't decide to come here, because I'm pretty sure Ai will try and take his anger out on him next. If that happens, I don't know if Taben will survive the encounter.

Here's hoping that things don't spiral out of control for any of us.

Aiden

I thought it would be better to leave Ai alone for a couple days. Were I in his position, I would want to spend time alone to think before I let others come back into my life. But, it wasn't just that...

Firstly, it's difficult for me to be around him right now. Since our minds are connected, I feel everything he does unless I put effort into closing the connection. I've had to do that a lot lately. Normally, he has enough control to keep his emotions from flooding across the link that binds us. Now, however, I often feel random surges of anguish, despair, and roiling anger. Sometimes it becomes so strong that even trying to shut him out doesn't work. This morning, for example, I woke up to an overwhelming, heart wrenching grief that caused me to break down sobbing. It scared Chastin and it surprised me. I was so overcome that I had to have him carry me out of the house to get far enough from Ai to recollect myself.

Secondly, I...don't know if I can face him right now. I mentioned earlier that I feel partly responsible for Brennon's death and every time I've tried to go to his room and talk to him I've lost my nerve.

Ai hates me for avoiding him...and I feel awful for what it must be doing to him.

A few hours have passed. I meant to end with that but some things have happened in that time that deserve mention.

I was about to post, but Aiden came bursting into my room. His eyes were wild and his tentacles were out. It took everything I had in me to close the connection, or else the surge of emotion would have probably temporarily paralyzed me. I stood up, but before I could say anything, he hit me as hard as he could in the face. It hurt more than anything I've ever experienced in my life thanks to my damned hypersensitivity. I was doubled over and bleeding everywhere. Little lights winked in and out of my vision and I felt like I was going to faint. Finally, I was able to straighten up. I was covered with blood and I could tell my nose was broken. Aiden was still seething and he threw another punch at me. This one I was able to catch in my hand. He looked shocked, but I pushed past him to the mirror beside the bed, where I spent another few painful minutes straightening out my nose and watching as my advanced healing mended the broken bone and cartilage.

I wiped off the excess blood from my face and turned back to face Ai. Chas appeared in the doorway and, seeing that I had been hurt, tried to launch himself at Ai. I managed to catch him in time and told him to go downstairs. I promised him I was fine and that I would work things out. He looked concerned, but he did as I asked.

Ai became even angrier at this point. He wrapped his tentacles around my arms and shoved me against a wall. I didn't try to retaliate. I merely looked into his eyes and waited for him to speak.

"Why are you never here for me when I need you?" He demanded angrily. "If you'd been with me, we could have protected Brennon. IF YOU'D DONE YOUR JOB, HE'D STILL BE ALIVE. Instead, you've been spending your time protecting your precious Chastin. Even now, when I need you most, you hide away trying to protect him. I SAVED YOUR FUCKING LIVES BACK THEN AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?! YOU HOLD JUST AS MUCH BLAME AS THAT BITCH ANDROMEDA FOR BRENNON'S DEATH! I should kill you right now you...no...killing you wouldn't repay you in full. Killing you won't make you understand. No...you're my servant aren't you? You should have to feel the pain I do. Taben and I lost everything, so maybe you should too. You're in just as deep as we are and yet you still have shreds of your humanity and the source of your happiness is still alive. No...I need to rip away that source of happiness just as mine was. Then you'll understand. I'll bring you down to my level and then you'll know just how great of a mistake you made when you let him die! I'M GOING TO KILL CHASTIN AND THEN YOU'LL KNOW MY PAIN. I'LL MAKE SURE HE GOES THROUGH THE SAME TORTURE BRENNON DID AND I'LL SEE TO IT THAT YOU HAVE TO WATCH AS HELPLESSLY AS I DID! Then you'll know what it feels like to watch your entire world die without the power to stop it. I HOPE IT TEARS YOU APART! I HOPE IT DRIVES YOU OVER THE EDGE AND LEAVES YOU BEGGING FOR DEATH!"

He continued on like that for awhile. His tentacles dug into my arms and drew blood. The force of his emotions felt like a metal spike being hammered into my skull and I barely had enough strength to keep the dam that held back his thoughts and feelings from breaking. I was able to listen to that first part of his tirade, but eventually it became too much and I had to focus all my energy and thought on maintaining the wall between our minds.

It's truly amazing what grief can do to a person. I never thought I would see the usually easygoing, kind Aiden turn into that cruel, merciless animal I saw today. I know he didn't mean any of it, though. It was fueled by sorrow, guilt, and hatred towards Andromeda and Slender Man and I just happened to be in his path when the dam finally burst.

Finally, he ran out of insults and death threats and he grew silent. I continued to stare into his eyes and, after a few moments, the tentacles released their grip and he dropped to his knees. I helped him up and made him sit down on the bed. His eyes were full of despair and he looked utterly dejected. I left the room for a moment to clean up all the blood off of myself (the wounds on my arms his tentacles had made had already healed by that point) and, when I came back, Ai sent another tentacle speeding towards my neck. I caught this one and held it tightly even though it burned me, causing Ai to wince in pain.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop Andromeda, Ai." I said, guilt heavy in my voice. "I'm sorry for failing you and I'm sorry for avoiding you." Tears began spilling from my eyes, but I continued on. "I know I haven't experienced loss to the degree that you have, but that doesn't mean I don't know how you feel. I was avoiding you because your emotions tend to overwhelm me when I get close to you. I've experienced every bit of pain that you have over these past few days like it was my own." He looked up at me, confused, and was about to reply, but I interrupted him. "If you're going to take your anger out on someone, do it to me. I can take it. If you want to hate someone, hate me. If you want to hurt someone, hurt me, not Chastin. He didn't do anything, so leave him out of it. I share blame for Brennon's death, Chastin doesn't. You aren't a murderer, Ai. You're a good person and I don't want to see you corrupt yourself out of grief like Taben did. So please, hit me, cut me, do whatever you want to me to make yourself feel better. I won't die and I won't hate you for it. I am your faithful servant after all. All I ask in return is that you leave Chas out of this."

Ai seemed at a loss for words. I gave him a hug and he seemed to calm down. A moment later he took hold of my forearm with a tentacle and wrenched it as hard as he could. I heard the snap and saw the bone protruding through the skin, but I did my best to hide that I was in immense pain. I released him and he looked at me for a few moments as if expecting me to retaliate. I merely smiled at him and began attempting to push the bone back down so it wouldn't heal improperly. He frowned as if thinking and went back to his room. It wasn't until after he left that I curled up and howled into my pillow in pain until my arm went numb. I'm rather impressed with myself.

I haven't heard anything from him since and I'm going to go check on him again soon. My arm is healed up and I'm ready to take another beating if he's still angry. Let's hope things improve from here...my new mission is to make sure Ai doesn't let himself become a monster.