Goddamnit (edited)

You can obviously suspect I went off on Malkin. All on good terms I swear... I just don't want something to happen to Malkin.

We don't even know what He is... What He wants.. Especially with me... I feel like there is something deeper to all of this. But I have yet to figure it all out.
I guess I could investigate but I'm so lazy about this stuff.

Maybe it all has to do with the death of my brother? My brother Kyle passed away around a couple months ago. Well, more like he committed suicide... But the thing is the doctors have no idea why. They say he went crazy or something before he died, according to his brain otopsy they conducted before we cremated him and shoved him into the ground. How depressing that day was. My mother wouldn't let go of me, she kept telling me it was my fault for not keeping better tabs on him. Since I am the oldest and he's my kid brother...

She likes to point fingers at people but herself, she kills me.

Let's just say after I fought with Malkin, I got to sleep on the couch. I was sitting on it, with my sleeping bag spread out and a couple throw pillows on the end. I took a breathe of my cigarette and set it on the ash tray. I blew out the smoke through my nose, making it burn a little. I twisted my nostrils, and took my shirt off to cool myself before getting into the sleeping bag.

I didn't fit on the couch well. My feet hang over the end, and I don't sleep well.

I took my pills off of the coffee table and swallowed them all at once with a gulp of water. I set the glass down and sighed.

I wanted back in bed... I am so controlling of Malkin I swear, but some times I just give into him to avoid further fights. :/

I got into my sleeping bag and grabbed the remote off the floor to try the TV. I clicked the power on, to my surprise it worked. The late night new came to view on the flat screen. I turned the volume off and adjusted myself in the bag. I wrapped it up to my head and frowned. I wasn't happy.

The TV burst to a snow screen of my cable being messed with. The picture went in and out, I ignored it and muted it.

Falling asleep to fuzz.

Whoa there, sir.

I'm not doubting that you saw Him that night, Chas, jeez. Also, I've decided that you're not allowed to go to the store alone anymore. I can't believe he took back roads like that =.=. Seriously I like attacked him when he got back. The whole calm "read a book thing" changed the moment I read his post. I think he thought I wouldn't see it until he was in bed or something. Well, he also forgets I have a smartphone then because I pretty much tackled him again and started freaking out at him not two minutes after he posted that entry. Either he's completely reckless or he thought that creature wouldn't come for him in the daylight. Yeah, big mistake, Chas. That monster has it out for you and going out to a place with no one around like that was just asking him to show up. Sometimes I think my boyfriend has a death wish or something :-/
 All anger and worry aside, I have something I neglected to mention to Chas.
Yeah...I'm sure this is obvious...He showed up here again while Chas was out. Presumably after he accosted Chas on his motorcycle, of course...
Wouldn't you know it, He didn't even bother to stay outside this time. He just waltzed right into our living room. It pretty much gave me a heart attack...I'm sitting there reading a book (its the new book in the Green Rider series btw, its EPIC) and I look up for a second and I see the door to our room open. I pretty much just sat there, dumbstruck, as He walked out of our room and down the hallway towards me. He moves like some old guy with arthritis. Seriously. It took Him like five minutes just to walk down our only kind of long hallway. But, and this is really weird, I found that I couldn't move...I was frozen in place and I couldn't look away from His blank face. I felt those invisible eyes on me again. That gaze that burns me like fire...
He actually touched me this time...He picked me up by my shirt collar and brought my face so it was level with His and just looked at me some more. I managed to break free from whatever was keeping me from moving for a moment and I kicked Him in the stomach. It didn't even fucking faze Him. He looked down at where I kicked Him and then shook me violently a few times.
And then I heard it. His voice echoing inside my brain. I couldn't really make out what He was saying since, you know, every word felt like an ice pick being stabbed into my frontal lobe. Lovely. I screamed at Him to stop, and all that bastard did was tilt His head at a ninety degree angle in the creepy way of his. Oh, and then He produced one of those tentacles and started wrapping it around my neck. Yeah...I started crying and begging then...I thought I was going to die...but then He suddenly looked away out the window. I heard the rumbling of Chas's motorcycle as he parked it out front and I nearly like exploded inside in my relief. Suddenly, He drops me and backs away. I'm just staring up at Him blankly in a heap on the floor before He tilts His head one more time and disappears. I hear Chas outside our door looking for his keys and I quickly scramble into the chair again with my book and greet him like nothing happened when he comes in.

Sorry I didn't mention that before now...I just didn't want you to freak out...I mean, at least I don't have a huge burned scar thing on me like you, Chas.

The Sun, finally.

You can believe what you want, I saw Him last night, twice. I don't remember all much the first time, but the second time was true. He was standing at the end of the hall. Just fucking standing there with his head crooked.

And I had no intention of sexy time last night... Malkin....

The sun was finally out, and the apartment was getting cold from the power still being out. I wanted out to get into the cool spring breeze, since the weather hasn't been cooperating with the seasons, it still feels like January out.

I grabbed my helmet off the ground and closed the door behind me. I could tell Malkin was still a little dismayed about last night, but when the sun's up, I act like nothing can get to me. My bike stood in front of Malkin's car. I looked at it for a minuet, surprised it withheld the wind standing against the wind the night before. The rain still trickled down the pitch black paint of the "Honda" lettering. It's a Honda Shadow Phantom. Blacked out with a 745cc V-twin Engine, kicking in the middle. I got on top of it and roared it to life. I breathed in the gas with a heavenly smile, as I adjusted my helmet. The helmet connected to my bike and portrayed the speed limit on the visor.

Oh but this ride, I didn't need to keep track of my speed.

I pulled out of the parking lot and kicked onto the freeway. I kept pulling the gas harder and harder, changing gears with my foot like clock work. The wind picked up, a semi warm breeze that blew threw my red shirt, and cargo shorts.

Next gear.

I took an exit off the freeway to take the back roads, steering away from the cops. the back roads were still filled with leaves, all different colors. It didn't even phase me that it was odd that the trees should be growing leaves, not losing them.

Then I saw it. I slowed way down to something in the road. When I came to a complete stop, I was too late.

I looked up and saw his faceless head looking down at me.

No one was around. My bike idled, confused why I had stopped. His arm came up over both of us.

I was motionless, I was too shocked to even breathe. His arm came down at me, all I did was close my eyes.

Then...

Nothing...

I opened them and saw just the road in front of me.

I looked around me in quick motions, scanning the forests. I swallowed hard, and leveled the bike again to continue to the store. I forgot what I even needed at it, and just bought some unneeded milk...

I came home, parking my bike in front of Malkin's car and looked down at my arm. My arm seemed to have a scar coming out of the bandages that I had put on the night before. I touched it with my fingers, it didn't hurt, so I ignored it. I took off my helmet and pushed my hand through my hair, trying to fix it. My motor bike shut off and I grabbed my keys.

I came into the apartment to find Malkin reading on the couch. I put the milk away in the nonworking refrigerator, the door making a click noise.

"What did you get?" Malkin asked from the couch. I stared at the white fridge and shook my head.

"Milk... I forgot what I wanted." I said walking over to him. I kicked my shoes off and laid down next to him. I picked up the remote and tried turning the TV on, to no avail.
I just wanted something to take my mind from Him.

"Try reading a book." Malkin said, not lifting his eyes from his book.

"Hell no, hate reading..." I said feeling bored, almost wishing I went out to look for Him in the woods. I threw the idea out of my head and crossed my arms.

I closed my eyes.

Probably should have mentioned that little tidbit....

Yeah, I probably could have mentioned Chastin having a spazz attack during a tender moment (well, maybe not tender per say, but it was a relief to have him there with me and to know he'd be ok)...but, like Chas mentioned, I didn't see Him standing in the hallway. It was just Chas freaking out at empty space from my perspective...of course, I figured something must have been up and I didn't want anything bad to happen to him again so, being a loving boyfriend, I tackled him like a beast.
Yeah. I am a beast. It feels good.
Anyway, the point is that I'm afraid. I was talking about how He could be anywhere...and when He actually was in our apartment I didn't even know it. Hell, He could've been standing over us while we slept for a long time before He actually made Himself known to us...wow...that's a scary thought....its just as well that something like that could turn invisible though. Of course He would have freaky powers that let Him eat his prey from the shadows.
Chas didn't freak out anymore that night. No more tall, dapper gentleman in a suit. At least, as far as we know...
Maybe I'll like...spray every corner of our apartment with pepper spray or something and see if our skinny friend reveals himself...or maybe I could use spray paint? Pink spray paint. Pink sparkly spray paint so His suit is eternally ruined. He'll be the laughingstock of the creepy critter population.
Yeah...lightening the mood...Chas went to get groceries and now I'm all weirded out.
I should've gone with him...what if he gets attacked again? He was wearing like all red...he'll be like a moving target.
He was also wearing like ten million tons of Axe so I guess he'll be a fragrant snack for our skinny friend....
Gosh, I hope he comes back soon.

Going to bed.

"CHASTIN! JESUS CHRIST!" Malkin... Finally...

"What the hell happened to you, this wound wasn't this bad two hours ago!?" His voice was full of worry, he was struggling to find a calm voice. He was really good at seeing in the dark, something I have never been good at. He turned the water off and took the rag from the sink. He continued to say Jesus over and over. I kept closing my eyes, trying to keep them open, but my body was so exhausted...

Malkin came down to me, and heaved my body up against the bathroom wall. My back rested against the fake wall paper, and my head slung down. Malkin pushed it back, taking my hair with his hand as he looked at me with his dark brown eyes, his face showed all concern for me. I didn't like him feeling so down about me, but I could barely speak to tell him to shut up like I normally do. Malkin raised the hand towel to my face and patted it softly. He moved it down to my arm, seeing it poorly bandaged and said "that's better than I could have done... Chastin what happened to you?"

I blinked.

He blinked.

His mouth arched an upset line, "You're a man of many words..." He put the wash cloth down and grabbed me under my arms. He was more gentle to my right arm. He surprisingly lifted me up and wrapped my left arm around his shoulders and began moving me to the bedroom.

The apartment was eerie... All I could hear was the wind from outside forcing it's rage on anything in it's way.

The bedroom. It was small but so was the amount of stuff we had. The bed was placed in the middle against the wall with one chair next to the right side of it. An analog clock stood awkwardly on the wicker seat. We made it to the bed. My legs were moving but I couldn't feel it.

"Jeez you're heavy. Luckily it's all muscle and height, and not a pot belly, heh..." Malkin said has we sat on the bed. He was trying to lighten the mood, make himself laugh like he usually does in these situations.

It killed me.

Malkin, keeping me upright, took off my ripped shirt and threw it toward the closet. He laid me back and removed my dirty jeans, to then pull the blankets from the floor onto me. If anything he knew what he was doing.

My eyes shifted from him and out the door of the room.

He stood at the end of the hallway.

Just fucking standing there. My headache pounded with every heart beat as it began to beat faster and faster. I all of a sudden carried a bunch of energy, ripping myself from the bed, rushing to my feet and down the hall after him.

Screaming, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

Malkin was right behind me, yelling at me that there was nothing there.

But there was, I swear there was. He was there watching us. I didn't want Him anywhere near Malkin. I knew He was capable of hurting Malkin, like he did me.

I was tripped to the floor by Malkin jumping on me. I laid there with him on me, his arms around my chest. His breathing was hard, and he was swallowing deeply. He was trying to hold back tears, I could tell...

My face was against the grey carpet. I started to feel cold tears dropping on my back. I raised my head, He wasn't there anymore...

Or was He even there to begin with...?

I got up, adjusting Malkin into my arms. I could only say three words... "Quiet, you idiot..." So comforting, I'm sure...

He pulled out of my grip and went into the bedroom. I sat there in my underwear, staring at the bed from where I was. I pulled myself up with my left hand and walked back into the dark room. I turned around to look back into the living room, nothing.

Just darkness.

I closed the door...

wow

So...I don't remember Chas's shoulder being mangled when I last looked at it that night...all I saw was the tentacle mark and some blistering. Well, after seeing his last post I pretty much attacked him and made him let me see the wound again (yes, Chas, I went all woman on you just like you wanted to avoid). See, my first thought had been that he just imagined it. I mean, he was pretty out of it when he came home that night and the whole memory loss thing seems to be a sign something is screwy in that head of his...
 I was wrong though. His shirt sleeve was bloody just like he said in his last post. His shoulder was a total mess...it looked like parts of the skin were...I don't know...burned? Its hard to say....all I could tell for certain was that its bloody and horribly mutilated. The rest of his arm still has the red tentacle mark thing but it doesn't look nearly as bad as before.
 So, I have to wonder, how did this happen? His shoulder wasn't destroyed when I first saw it that night, but the next day it was. After Chastin fainted like a little fairy (yeah that's right. I called you a fairy. That's payback for the "tight little ass" comment.), I went to bed with the blinds in my room shut tight. I didn't feel like being stared at all night by a certain tall abomination. Speaking of said abomination, I'm pretty sure He didn't come back that night. At least...I was. Now I can't help but think that He came back and hurt Chastin some more while he was out cold...either that or Chas's wound like...progressively got worse over the two hours or so he was out. I don't know...
Its frightening to think about...I don't even know if that monster was in our house that night or if He's been here since...I feel so helpless knowing that if He came here I couldn't do a thing about it.

Its such a strange feeling...that creature can be anywhere at any time He wants. He could appear behind me right now and I would be dead in an instant.

There's no fighting something like this...in the end all I can do is watch and wait. There is no stopping Him...He's far away now, but He'll just keep coming closer. When that day comes that He finally appears at my side, will I even want to run?

No Memory.

I'm getting tired of not being able to remember things. I woke up on the couch and I felt disgusting. My skin was coated with dry sweat, my shoulder hurt like a bitch, and my head was spinning with a massive headache. I rolled over on my couch, grabbing the remote off the ground, where it always it. I turned the TV on to see what time it was... and what day it was...

The TV wouldn't turn on though. The batteries in the remote must have been dead or something. I could only see the moon shining through the blinds of my window behind the TV. I groaned, pondering if I should go visit the doctor or something to make sure my arm was still intact.

Or just take a bunch of pain pills...

I heaved my limp body upwards, and forced myself off the couch. The apartment was dark and it seemed like there was any sign of life. Malkin was no where to be seen. Or he was in the back bedroom, hopefully sleeping. I was praying that he didn't see me like this. I didn't want him to get all woman like on me and worry is tight little ass off about me.

Specially when I don't even know what is wrong with me...

I dragged myself to the bathroom, switching the light on, but it never came on.

"Must be a power outage" I whispered to myself as I helplessly switched the light on and off repeatedly.

I opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror, and turned the faucet on to hot. The old sink splattered water on at full blast, getting on my jacket, that I slowly took off, cradling my arm. I let it fall to the floor as I looked at my refection in the dulled lighting. I looked at my reflection on the opened mirror, and focused my attention back to the medicine. I grabbed out some aspirin, and Tylenol, knowing taking both was a bad idea. But my arm hurt so badly, it was the only option.
I didn't want to go back outside...

I held my good hand under the water that refused to turn warm, and grabbed a hand towel that was placed on the counter. I drenched it in the ice water and rose it to my face, wiping the grime and dirt off of it.

I looked down at my right arm. I wanted to keep form seeing the real damage, but the pain was too unbearable to not know why. I looked at my shirt's sleeve, that once used to be white, that was now dried blood. I ripped the sleeve off and saw the mangled remains of my shoulder.

I stood there, more in shock of how I didn't know how this happened. I just stared at my dismantled shoulder, and still oozing blood.

Forcing my eyes to shut.

I took the hand towel again and began wiping dried blood off of my shoulder. I winced in pain, but let out gasps of breathe instead of whimpers. I opened the cabinet again and pulled out the bandages. I pulled the strand out, wrapping my shoulder repeatedly, thinking this was going to fix it.

Pain shot through my arm. I wasn't being careful enough with it.

But I saw His lifeless face again. The pain shot through to my head again, increasing my headache.

Without thinking I grabbed my head with both hands, and fell to the floor of the bathroom.

I could hear the water faintly through the pain... I gasped for breathe. Hoping Malkin was home...

I needed help.